Barren

I looked at the guide for tonight,
Anxious to see who was in the limelight,
BBC2 has Portillo riding a train,
We’ve seen them before, but we’ll watch them again,
After that, Dad’s Army is on,
It might be old, but still it’s fun,
BBC1 showing Last Night of the Proms,
I didn’t even catch the first; where have they all gone?
Britain’s Got Talent on ITV,
Oh please, oh please, won’t someone save me?
Something called Kingsman on Channel Four,
I wonder, will I be begging for more?
The Yorkshire Vet on Channel Five,
Eee bah Gum, lad, just nod and say “aye”,
A million more shows, but by now we can see,
In my best Yorkshire accent, there’s nowt on TV.

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of 12 September, 2020, television.

Now, let’s see, there’s probably bits of this need an explanation for international readers.

Portillo is an ex-politician-turned-TV-presenter. He rides on trains and does travel shows.

“Dads Army” – we all know that, right? If was a British sitcom of the 60s/70s, about a Home Guard platoon in WW2.

The Proms concerts are actually a decent set of classical music concerts. There is a “season” of them every year. If they get any media attention at all, it is likely to be broadcast by the BBC on one of their radio channels, The last night, however, is very flag-waving, with patriotic music like “Land of Hope and Glory”. Our country gets very nostalgic about when we enslaved half the world. I presume that with Lockdown this year, everything ison its head.

“Eee bah gum”, “aye” and “nowt” are all Yorkshire terms, which I’m sure everybody recognises.

Any other ambiguities, post a comment.

And, by the way, you are absoletely right. The poem nearly ended on Line 2 but I changed the rhyme!

Author: Mister Bump UK

Formerly Stroke Survivor UK. Designed/developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Returned to developing from home, plus do some voluntary work. Married, with a grown-up, left-home daughter.

14 thoughts on “Barren”

    1. This is a guy called Michael Portillo. He was a disciple of Margaret Thatcher, and I think at one point he ran the Defence Department. Early 2000s, I think, he stood to be leader of their party but lost. I think he got into broadcasting after that.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah yes, I went looking and found it. I settled on something on BBC2 about Queen Anne. Not really anything I already know a lot about, so that might be interesting. That’ll probably take me through to bedtime – for some reason I got up at 4:45 this morning so I am knackered. The CH clock was out so I could hear the water going through the radiator in the middle of the night!

      Like

    1. It’s weird but that episode was on already just a few days ago. Might well have been a different channel, but it was definitely the same programme. You know how you’re half-listening, and then your ears prick up?

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    1. Really? Not even Dad’s Army? That was big here, the Friends of its time. Seven or eight seasons, made them all stars, even the writers. I suppose a lot of comedy just doesn’t travel. It’s one of the few shows which doesn’t feel dated. I think because it was always set in the past, so it was always “dated”.

      Liked by 1 person

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