Samples

Last Reviewed: October 2021

Image showing a writing book and a quill

I enjoy creative writing, including flash fiction and short stories (I tend to lump the two together). I also follow current affairs and politics, and write a couple of real-life-based posts per week.

However, the bulk of this site is now poetry. My favoured style is the limerick, although I have been known to write other forms such as haiku. I have included some of my recent favourites, below:

Let me take a moment to write this ditty,
It is certainly fun, and very witty,
I worked quite hard to make it rhyme,
And almost succeeded, as you can see.

Improving



A purveyor of canine cuisine,
My cousin got sucked in machine,
He was chopped up and ground,
Then deliciously browned,
And once cooked, turned the dog food bright green.

Tender Morsels



A missionary in a tight spot,
Ended up in the cannibals’ pot.
Then they ate him up, whole,
Left not even a bone.
Could have used some more pepper, they thought.

Bland



While at college my friend was a dandy,
But caught pox one night when feeling randy,
Abstained calendar year,
Till he got the all clear,
Which was good news indeed for his handie.

Relieved



First car was a banger, I’d say,
Dodgy handbrake would never obey,
I abandoned all hope,
When I parked on a slope,
And then saw the thing rolling away.

First Wheels



When we first moved in here we were needing,
Hired a gardner to help us with weeding,
But it soon became clear
That he had no idea,
When he pulled up the peas we’d been seeding

Black Fingers



Bought plant for math class,
It bloomed and brightened the room,
But it grew square roots.

Miscalculated



As she glided along, shutters clicked,
All those millions of men, she’d afflict,
Moved surrounded by clique,
Proffered air of mystique,
How I laughed my ass off when she tripped.

The Red Carpet


As their sex life was falling to pieces,
Thought of role-play to make some increases,
But his codpiece conspicuous,
Made him look quite ridiculous,
And his missus just fell into creases.

The Taming of the Shrew


On his death bed, the man, almost spent,
Had his son by his side to augment,
Cried out, nearing his death,
With his very last breath,
“You’re an arse! You’re not getting a cent!”

Codicil

and I enjoy writing flash, too. I have several pieces that I particularly like, among them:

The Arranged Marriage

For Fandango’s Story Starter #1, where we build something around the following phrase: Don’t you dare come any closer… She was lucky, she knew. Not many would have her start in life. She must take full advantage, to grow tall and strong. As she waxed, she caught fleeting glances of her neighbour, who shared her youth. Over time, she saw his full range, and his sturdy presence soothed her, his power commanding by her side. She admired his summer peaks, … Continue reading “The Arranged Marriage”

The Injured Party

For Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #107, where we write about this photo from Pixabay. She sat dozing in her armchair. She spent most afternoons like this, dozing, since her retirement almost two years ago. A shrill knock at the door aroused her. “Who could that be?” She did not get many visitors, these days. She padded down the hallway and meekly opened the door. “Mrs Evans ?” She didn’t recognise the man standing before her, who was wearing an ill-fitting … Continue reading “The Injured Party”

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