Throlwback Thursday (15 September 2022)

I saw Fandango’s response to today’s Throwback Thursday. It isn’t normally a prompt I follow but today I saw a few questions that seemed interesting. I’ve answered those I can.

I won’t answer about my first love, because I kinda knew she was a badd’un from early on. I wanted a girlfriend so I stayed with her. It made her easier to get over, I suppose, but first time around it was still six months or so.

Anyway. She’s out of my head. I’ve no thoughts except that I was well rid of her. Sue is much more interesting.

How old were you when you had your first heartbreak? (For some it might be well into adulthood and that’s fine, too!)

18/9

Who broke your heart – first names only?

Sue. I’ve fictionalised her on my blog before.

Do you remember how the breakup happened?

She had an ex, from where she grew up. All through the relationship with me, she assured me that he was history. We each went back to our parents’ for Christmas. Very lovey-dovey. We exchanged (paper, in those days) letters each day.

Anyway, at some point he engineered a meet with her, said he wanted to get back together.

The lesson for me was not to trust rebound women. I never allowed myself to get serious about anybody on the rebound again. It was touch-and-go with Mrs Bump for a while.

Did you have a ring or token of your love? Did you return it?

Nothing apart from memories.

Did you think this was true love?

Absolutely

Did you play any sad songs to soothe the pain? If so, do you remember the name of the song?

When we were together, “our song” was Easy by The Commodores, I played that a lot.

I also latched on to Angel Eyes by Wet Wet Wet, and I’ve Been In Love Before by The Cutting Crew, Neither meant anything to us as a couple but they were released shortly after we split, when I was still suicidal.

If you were an adolescent, were your parents sympathetic or were they of the “it’s only puppy love” school of thought?

n/a

How long did it take you to get over it all?

A year. Most of my girlfriends tended to take about a year before I wanted to be with someone else. Some I cared for less; that was quicker.

Do you remember this person fondly or is it someone you prefer to forget?

God, no. She was the best girlfriend I ever had, easy. Because it was so young, it was just explosive. I never reached those heights even with Mrs Bump, because my priority then was “not to get hurt”, so it was a far slower burn.

Obviously Mrs Bump, though, has other qualities which made her marriage material. But we were both in our thirties so went into it with our eyes open.

After all was said and done, was it for the best or did you remain longing for a love lost?

Meh, life experience. Things are always for the best, as long as we learn from them. I look back and still think of her as “the best”. But of course we were just teenagers, so never considered “life” things like marriage or kids. We were together months, not years. It’s important not to deify her. Besides, I don’t regret where I ended up with Mrs Bump, but I definitely think of Sue and smile.

It would have been nice, now that we’re both of an age where you don’t go running off with someone, if she had got in touch at some point. With the interweb n’all. Just to compare how our lives turned out. (I Googled her a few times, but never seriously.) My name is unusual enough, I’m sure she’d have been able to find me.

Maybe she just did not feel as strongly as I felt? I mean, we said all the “I Love You”s and watnot, but I learned later to take them with a pinch of salt. Maybe she’s happily married with fifteen grands, and it never crossed her mind? Maybe she thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie? So while I still feel a teeny bit sad she never got in touch, I realise I’ll never know. Meh.

26 comments

  1. Young love can be so, precarious to navigate. I suppose it says something about us when we still have fond memories for someone who hurt us. I always think back and realize just like everything else, we need to learn how to love and how to be loved. I am sorry for all the heartache of adolescence. It was nice having you participate this week. Thanks for joining us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I’ve had thirty years to figure out the role she played in my life. How important she was.
      I knew her for a relatively brief length of time, it was perfect while we were together, and it ended quite abruptly, in that I only saw her once or twice after we split.
      So it never really had a chance to go sour. I only really have that perfection to remember.
      That’s not a real relationship. Real relationships involve that, yes, but also months of frustration as the relationship chokes to death. Or babies keeping us up all night with their crying. Or, as my wife now knows, the shock of waking up married to this grumpy disabled guy. I only ever got the “smooth” with her and was spared the “rough”. So my memories are real, but skewed.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Our lives are made up of a lot of “what ifs” all strung together. Most of the time we never know the answers to those questions that come to us in the early morning and leave us with a whimsical smile or sometimes reduce us to sobs. Happened to me last week. It was a Saturday morning and my husband left the house very early to go fishing. The sound of the garage door woke me and there was no going back to sleep so I decided to write. Some profoundly melancholic memories washed over me and I wrote through my tears. When I was finished writing, I read my poem and listened to the music I chose to go with it. I sat here in my darkened room sobbing … literally sobbing as if my dearest friend in all the world had died. In a way, that’s what happened and I wept for an hour while the Moody Blues sweetly asked, “Isn’t life strange?” It is very strange indeed, my friend. It’s a pleasure talking with you, Pete. 🌹

        Liked by 1 person

    • You caught me on a good (or bad) day, whichever way you look at it 🤣. I needed the escape.
      But it would be a great pity if we didn’t have fond memories, wouldn’t it? You know, to focus on the breakup or the aftermath rather than the wonderful times. I think that would say a lot about me, if that’s how I thought.
      I knew a guy once, said he would not get a pet for his child, “because pets die eventually”. Conveniently neglecting the years of sheer joy you have in between, bringing pleasure to each other’s lives. What sort of an attitude is that?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Without going into a full “Throwback” response, I’ve always wondered too. Don’ think oddly of me but there are more than one “formers” I’d like to chat with. Just to know, you know? Don’t know as I was mortally wounded (at the time) as you were but even with the hurt, there are as you said fond memories. Good read.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I suspect it is to lie sleeping dogs lie. After all, once you say “hello”, where is there to go?
      I’d like to think it is not because they had such a shitty time, they felkt well rid. But we never know.
      I have successfully stayed in touch with a couple of exes but they are not the general case.

      Liked by 1 person

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