Category: Personal

The Worst Song Ever?

I am just watching an old music show from the Sixties, and I think they just played the worst song ever written.

This is a song by the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Some of you might remember then for the hit I’m the Urban Spaceman. It was a hit in the UK, at any rate, and I thought it was a pretty decent song.

But I’m not talking about that song. I am talking about one released in 1968 called Canyons Of Your Mind.

Before I show you the video (which shows the lead singer picking his nose) here are the first few lines of lyrics:

In the canyons of your mind [- fine so far]
I will wander through your brain [- if it were me, I’d steer clear of brains]
To the ventricles of your heart [- eek]

If you don’t believe me, the link is below. That sound you heard partway through was me collapsing onto the floor. If those lyrics happened to float your boat, you’ll be pleased to hear the rest of the song because it is full of them.

I don’t know about you guys, but when I write stuff on here, I’m under no illusion that I am anything other than an absolute amateur, and most of what I write is rubbish. I do it ‘cos I enjoy doing it. But thank goodness we have the professionals…

A Scare

I’ve spent a lot of the day in shock, trying to blamk out what happened at breakfast time.

I even put a couple of posts live this morning, then went through to the kitchen as normal. I put the kettle on, as normal. I mixed some oats up into porridge, as normal. I can’t help thinking I was lucky to be in the room for what happened next.

The kettle, almost boiled, stuttered. Then it started again – its LED shows on/off. So I am staring at the kettle, wondering what’s going on, when all of a sudden, I see a puff of black, acrid smoke, accompanied by a flash, coming from the kettle’s switch into the wall socket.

Fortunately I grabbed the (plastic, insulated) plug and pulled it out of the wall, removing power to the kettle. I was just left with this smoke and an awful smell.

Now, the kettle wasn’t actually connected directly to the wall socket. I had a wi-fi switch in there. The type of switch which allows me to remotely turn the kettle on from my bed. Ironically, I don’t use it any more, but it was still in the loop between wall socket and kettle.

This switch had all the right logos on it – there is a safety standard within the EU, and since we only left a year ago… But, on inspection, this wi-fi switch was the culprit – indeed, part of it had melted away. After it cooled I could see quite clear damage.

So I can’t help thinking how lucky I was to be in the room when this happened, so I was able to nip it all in the bud. And I can’t help thinking that we need to get an electrician in just to make sure the socket is safe (although I’m pretty sure it was this switch rather than the socket, we’ve left the socketoff just in case, so there is no circuit there). And, I tested the kettle – literally watched water boil – at lunchtime, in a different socket. But I can’t help thinking that every unidentified little noise in the house is the start of a fire somewhere, and I can still smell that bloody smell!

Just Say No

The Detectives was a comedy show which aired in the UK betweem 1993-7. I loved it.

Just a Minute

As soon as I heard the word today, I thought of “without hesitation, repetition, deviation” – the three cornerstones of an institutional UK comedy radio quiz called “Just a Minute”.

The plan was that one of the celebrity contestants had to speak for a minute on a particular subject (given to them by the host). It was very near impossible to speak for a whole minute (my mother could have done it 😉), although the attempts made for a hilarious show.

The BBC now has several radio stations, one of which is a talk station called Radio Four. This is the original format, reminiscent of a hundred years ago, and it is probably the most highbrow station in the UK today, but each weekday evening, from 6:30PM – 7PM, they have a Comedy Half Hour. Just a Minute fitted into this slot, once a week. I don’t know whether it still does – its longtime presenter, a guy called Nicholas Parsons (a legend in the UK) died earlier this year, aged 96.

There are many clips of this show on YouTube, but most of them are full, half-hour shows. But I found this short clip (under a minute), just to give a taster. We’ve all heard of Graham Norton, right?

for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC), deviate.

Competition

Daughter’s cat is still prone to being bad-tempered at times, although she is much improved from her original state of just being pissed all the time.

But while my wife was in the toilet, she was uppity again this morning, after she (cat) had wandered inon her (wife). With my best poetic hat on, I said:

Did she start hissing,
while you were pissing?

My wife was using the toilet just prior to driving over to see her mother. Not to be outdone, she replied:

I’d better get going,
Before it starts snowing.

It’s not gonna snow today, but, you know… license. And then, amazed at her own poetic ability, she added:

See? I can do it too,
But not as well as you.