It’s been a while since I just sat down and wrote something freestyle.
With raven hair and emerald eyes,
Her beauty cannot be disguised,
Her velvet skin, her heaving breast
Her passion beats within her chest.
A settled life, a path to tread,
A comfort paunch, twelve years he’s wed,
A pleasing job, devoted wife,
His passion thrown into his life.
Two comets on trajectories glide,
An accident, their worlds collide.
A twist of fate? A lucky chance?
Can he believe, a secong glance?
The chat, the smalltalk, can’t be real,
His circumstance cannot conceal,
She stays around, she sees his worth,
Disguised as humour, banter, mirth.
They share their secrets, both confide,
But he is pensive, mystified,
At length concludes, events replay,
Attraction’s what we do and say.
I like this a lot, but I recommend expanding it. The ending is too short to do justice to the beginning.
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Ha, you don’t get away that easily. It is freestyle for you, too 🤣 How do you think it should end?
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Well, first there’s a wrinkle to iron. She sees his worth disguised by what he says, yet attraction is what he says?
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He warns her to keep her eyes open, but she keeps coming. He doesn’t know what the attraction is, figures it must be that.
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Nice job.
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Oh, this is definitely the most romantic thing anyone has ever said…beautiful cadence that you keep with words that woe.
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I find it is fun sometimes just to say what is in my head, no prompt word etc. Don’t you think?
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Always! You should do it more often 😊
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I agree. It’s easier just to be prompted to go in a certain direction, but if the fancy takes me…
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I definitely encourage it, especially with someone who’s mind you enjoy.
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Loved it!
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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Thanks.
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This is great Pete. You should do more freestyle!
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I had the idea in bed last night, and you know how you need to write this stuff down before you forget it…
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It keeps me awake sometimes.
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Fancy, huh? You should pay it more attention. (Pssst. I like it as it is.)
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Thanks. I like it so there is enough wriggle-room for people to imagine the story they want. I’m there simply to provide some guiderails every now and again.
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Great freestyle, Pete.
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Thanks. Worth waking in the middle of the night though?
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Ha! Probably not! 😀
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that’s kinda what I thought at the time 🤣
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Writing from the head is good, as though it’s meant to be. I loved this piece.
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Thanks Sue. I woke up with a few fragments and managed to work them into something. I liked it.
The subliminal message here is that sleep is good 🤣
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I agree. I sometimes wake up in the middle if the night with ideas that have popped into my head 💡 I’m surprised I don’t get up and get started there and then!
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fatal 🤣
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although now that I have a Google speaker, I have been known to tell it to take a note in the middle of the night, so I don’t forget!
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