How NOT to Win Friends

I haven’t yet mentioned my mate,
Who came to his end on a date,
He mentioned her tum,
And her oversized bum,
So she sat on him, caused him deflate!

There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

My Poor Family

Author: Mister Bump UK

Designed/developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Returned to developing from home, plus do some voluntary work. Married, with a grown-up, left-home daughter. View all posts by Mister Bump UK

6 thoughts on “How NOT to Win Friends”

You’ve a knack for writing these funny poems.

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Mister Bump UK says:

12 December, 2020 at 09:54

It’s good to start the day with a smile – it generally goes downhill from there 🤣

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1. Sadje says:
  
  12 December, 2020 at 11:41
  
  I hope not! 😃😂
  
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  Reply
2. ben Alexander says:
  
  12 December, 2020 at 16:40
  
  now, now, don’t get deflated.
  
  -David
  
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  Reply
  1. Mister Bump UK says:
    
    12 December, 2020 at 16:44
    
    Wife has gone away for the weekend so there is nobody here to sit on me, at least!
    
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Guess it’s really his time 😀 😀 😀

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Please Note:

Although I currently volunteer for Age UK, and previously volunteered for the UK's Stroke Association, the views expressed in this blog are strictly my own. I am not a spokesperson for any organisation. I am based in the UK and the blog therefore has a UK bias - I've tried to use the Glossary to explain any terms which might be ambiguous, but if you think there is anything I've missed, please message me. Lastly, you'll find typos here, although I do my best to correct them. There are reasons for this, which you'll discover as you read.

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How NOT to Win Friends

All That Glitters

A Whale of a Time