I was chatting to one of my Age UK clients yesterday. Her husband had just been banished to the bedroom, to watch the afternoon’s horse racing, which she detested. I asked her whether/what sports she liked and – bearing in mind that this is a little old lady in her mid-Seventies – I was surprised when she said that she loves wrestling. You know, all that WWE nonsense we get on TV.

Anyway, it gave me an idea so I headed off to Wikipedia. Little did I know I would find a gazillion different names of holds!

The Shoulder Claw, the Forearm Smash,
Grown men sent flying with a crash.
The Hammerlock, the Chicken Fling,
Some guy sent flying from the ring.
The Lotus Lock, the Boston Crab,
Call that man a taxicab!
The Rocking Chair, the Ankle Lock,
If you come close, you’ll get a shock.
The Sleeper Hole, the Double Choke,
I’d better not annoy this bloke,
The Cobra Clutch, the Butterfly,
Would somebody please simplify?
…
If all these names leave you befuddled,
Do not despair, I’m just as muddled!