image showing a writing book and a quill

When I first wrote poetry, I started with limericks. I’m not saying that the nonsense suited the contents of my head, but… I still like going back.

There once was a guy from Hong Kong,
Who pricked his own bum with a prong!
“My goodness, that hurt”
As he lifted his shirt,
And his bottom was red all week long!

One suggestion to make this rhyme was “ping-pong”. I thought table tennis would have taken the poem in an interesting direction, but in the end, elected to leave this to the reader’s imagination!

Another suggestion was “plainsong” but I’m sure whatever he sang would have been far from plain!

And, did you ever have bad service?

We went out to the restaurant for dinner,
But this restaurant wasn’t a winner,
We waited and waited,
In the end we vacated,
But by then I was two sizes thinner.

Lastly, one for the road:

“I’m click bait, baby” she said as she patted her bum,
As she pushed out her boobs, then pulled in her tum,
This aspiring new model was new to the scene,
As she posed for the photos, just like a machine.

No clue how to act when the camera stopped rolling,
Through all of the images, photographer scrolling,
Not sure we got anything that makes the cut,
Now put on your robe, dear, and cover your butt.

Author: Mister Bump UK

Designed/developed large IT systems, interrupted by a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Now mix development of health-related software with voluntary work and writing. Married, with an estranged daughter.

8 thoughts on “Ouch!”

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