Conflict

Here’s a poser for you. I notice a lot of people follow a prompt called Blogging Insights, where you answer questions on your blogging habits. So I’m sure there should be some views on this!

I was wondering, what do you do when you come across a blog post you profoundly disagree with?

By that I mean a blog post where somebody expresses an opinion, where you sit and think what a load of BS? Do you say anything? Do you leave a comment, or walk on by? Would you even “like” the post?

I don’t just mean a tiny disagreement on a fine detail. I mean something that goes against your ethos. Thinking of a topical example, maybe one of you is up in arms about police killings in the US, while the other thinks it is a storm in a teacup and is maybe up in arms about the protesters instead?

I can maybe see two extremes here. Maybe you’d behave differently in each? I don’t know, would you?

The first is where you “know” the person, where you’ve had pleasant exchanges with them in the past.

At the other end of the spectrum, maybe somebody you don’t know from Adam. (I don’t necessarily mean looking at random posts in the Reader until we find a post we disagree with!) Trying to think of an example…when I respond to prompts, I try to read other people’s responses. So, maybe the two of you just responded to a common prompt?

And, just to stir it up further, would you behave differently on WordPress to other social media platforms?

Anybody have any views? Just interested.

Author: Mister Bump UK

Formerly Stroke Survivor UK. Designed/developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Returned to developing from home, plus do some voluntary work. Married, with a grown-up, left-home daughter.

34 thoughts on “Conflict”

  1. I just pass over those posts that I disagree with. A post has to kind of gel with me for me to engage with it usually. And I go onto Facebook but hardly ever post there. If I did post, I would act no differently to what I do here. I try to treat everyone with respect. It’s all we can do really, not being able to see each other and talk to each other, hearing the tone of voice, seeing the body language.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I must admit I am much the same. I tend to like everything I read, just to show appreciation for the writer’s effort, but if I read something to the point where I feel it is offensive, say, I’ll generally just move on to the next post.
      I do find it happens sometimes, pretty much by definition with strangers. If somebody did write things which I thought were offensive, I wouldn’t be interacting with them anyway.
      On the occasions when it does happen, I have sometimes spoken out. But, you know, it can be done nicely. The main reason for responding is just in case somebody else comes along and reads the comments. Hopefully what I say will make sense to them, even if not to the post’s author.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes I follow all that. I must say that I have not often found something offensive. I might disagree mildly, or strongly, but I guess I just think “oh,I’ll leve tt one.”

        Liked by 1 person

        1. No, I am the same, off the top of my head it has only happened twice. It was somebody I followed triggered the question in my head. I think they are a lot younger, so maybe that means feistier? When they write about “issues”, their views in themselves tend to be ok, far as I can tell, but they almost seem to go looking for disagreements with other people. I mostly put that down to age, but I was interested if anybody else felt the same. Most of my usual audience are retirees, certainly erring on the side of mature, anyway 🤣

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  2. I always tend to think of blogging as a ‘nice’ social media. I tend to avoid other forms of social media because I don’t particulalry enjoy even the prospect of unpleasant exchanges on the internet. In real life if someone expresses a view I disagree with then I’d probably challenge them on it, but I don’t think it serves any purpose expressing my disagreement with someone by commenting on their blog – there are multiple ways of interpreting the written word and I might think I’m offering a gentle rebuke but it could be received more agressively than I intended. So in general, if it’s a viewpoint that I find utterly distasteful and I can’t see any artistic justification for expressing it, I’ll probably stop reading that blog. If it’s less offensive, or I think I might have misinterpreted the intent, I probably won’t comment on, or ‘like’ that post, but I’ll likely still come back and read future posts to see if they can add a little context for me. I follow one blogger who broadly seems to be of the same humour and mindset as me, but once in a while he goes a little darker than I’m comfortable with. I know from having read a lot of his other stuff that his ‘offensive material’ is meant as satire. I personally feel it’s misjudged but in his case, it’s helpful to have read his other posts as it does help put his darker material into a perspective that wouldn’t be there if you took that one post in isolation.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes it’s funny, isn’t it? Before you write something, you usually run it through this “misinterpretation” filter. Mostly (I think) I’m quite good at that but there are definitely a few times where I’ve hit Send and thought “oh, bugger”. I must admit, my “default” (especially these days, my eyesight isn’t brilliant) is to assume that I have misread something, and therefore misinterpreted it. If I re-read it, and think “nope, that actually is what they’re saying”, then I am the same as you usually, I’ll just close the post straight away. It’s always with strangers’ posts, I think pretty much by definition. I wouldn’t be getting to the stage where I’m following somebody if I found what they wrote to be offensive.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I did once accidently follow someone who I thought was writing the most brilliant satire. It was only after a few weeks that it dawned on me that he meant every word. Quite quickly ‘unfollowed’ at that point and was very pleased to discover that you can rescind ‘likes’ too…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes, I’ve managed to do that, but mostly unintentionally! Something pops up in the reader, I like it then get interrupted. When I finally get back to wp, I think “oh, I must remember to like that”, and hit “like” again. Thereby unliking the post 🤣. But I never generally notice whether somebody “likes” my post or not, so I doubt they do either.
          I’ll often follow somebody with a view “let’s give them a chance and see what they write”. I remember one guy, wrote in French, so I thought it might be useful practise reading the language. This guy basically posted hardcore porn! So, sometimes I get burned…. Incidentally, your background is French, isn’t it? My main reason for using Facebook now, I follow a couple of decent French-language groups on there.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. I haven’t been over there since the stroke, getting on for five years. We live maybe 45 minutes from Portsmouth so before that, we would go over 4-5 times per year, sometimes just to hit Carrefour one weekend. My formal education was only to O level, everything else was picked up on the way. If your daughter ends up bilingual, what a precious gift that would be, just “knowing” things without the explicit need to study.

              Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmm… I always just move on and leave it unliked and uncommented-on, I won’t start an online arguement… we’re all entitled to different opinions about things and people’s life experience differs… but if that blogger then posts more in the same vein that I simply can’t tolerate, I stop reading their posts for a while. But then again I do worry a bit about only reading stuff that agrees with my personal life-view, because that kind of closed-off single-mindedness can become problematic in itself, so I do try to remain non-judgemental of others wherever possible, and try to understand why they may hold that opinion. Sometimes, though, I find that’s much harder than at other times! Funnily enough this exact thing happened to me the other day, I read a particular post on someone’s blog that smacked of an entitled ignorant and arrogant attitude towards a particular situation they were clearly completely unaware of, and I was so incensed by it I really struggled not to add my tuppence-worth! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s a really good point, it is something I’m aware of too, just that we tend to surround ourselves with like-minded people. Not just that, but we tend to watch tv news etc., from a certain viewpoint. So I think we largely hear/read whatever reinforces our world-view.
      Certainly watching politicians on tv, I find it is easier to watch those you don’t agree with rather than those you do, just because it forces you to understand exactly what they think, what their priorities are, what your priorities are, why you disagree with them, and so on.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, this platform is more relaxing in that respect. I’d maybe explore an idea on here that wouldn’t fly on Facebook. I guess Twitter would be even worse. Having said that, I’ve also come across posts here which my reader says will take an hour to read. So I think while people’s attention span might be longer, there is still a limit.
      It’s handy on Firefox because when I open the reader, it tells me roughly how long it’ll take to read the post. I’m really wanting sub-5 minutes, and 10 is probably my absolute limit. Even then, I’ll skip, depending on how compelling the author has been previously.
      Of course, I test my own posts, but the Firefox reader only works after something is published. All these preview panes just confuse it. I think this one was 2-3 minutes.

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  4. I would leave it. I had someone reacting in a whole post on something I said. I don’t think – hope – it was personal. Was taken out of context though. I doubted a long time if I should react and decided that my energy was more precious to keep.
    Must add that there will be no next time without a reaction from me.
    I’m not present at other social media except for Pinterest and I don’t have any interactions there. I’m on Bloglovin as you know but I don’t look at it.
    I think in general I react the same as in real life: Let people be people but when it really crosses the line for me I will speak up.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes I think we are like sponges and can soak up so much… I must admit I have never seen anything personal on this platform. I have read a few posts, disagreed with them, and been prompted (after a passage of time) to write about my own thoughts on the subject. But, you know, a hopefully reasoned post, no personal references.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Obviously I do not read blogging insights. I read many blogs through email and some in the reader. My reader is always delayed by days, at least. I usually do not argue on my comments and if someone is very rude I block them.

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes I’ve certainly noticed that civility to be quite unique to wp. That was why I never bother with FB any more. I have to say, nobody on here ever even came close to my blocking them. Even the whole meaning of “to block”, I have an idea based on FB but I’m not sure. I think the fundamental thing for all of us is that the experience should be enjoyable. I’ve only once left a comment which might vaguely be construed as negative – the blog author was very definitely telling one half of a story and I (helpfully 🤣) supplied bits of the other half.

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  6. I find WordPress is a whole different animal, kinder, friendlier, than other social media platforms. Occasionally, at some perceived world crisis, the blogosphere is active with various views on the crisis. If I disagree with any of these views I voice my opinion and try to have a respectful discussion. I find on WordPress this is actually achievable. If I don’t understand a point of view. I ask questions. If I don’t understand a poetic phrase. I ask questions. If I don’t understand a religious dogma, I ask questions. Never be afraid to ask questions. It’s how we learn from each other.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree that my experience of wp has been a lot more positive that other platforms. I thought at first that it could be because we pay, until a friend told me that they had a free plan, and I realised that they market different plans in different countries. So I’m not sure why, but we are definitely more tolerant.

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  7. I used to post comments where I’d express my differing opinion and my rationale. But that usually ended up in a comment pissing contest, so now I just move on. I have stopped following some bloggers who have expressed their position that Trump is god’s gift to America. Or to anyone who tries to sell their readers on their religious beliefs.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was thinking that you’d probably be a good example because you run some prompts.There are bound to be some responses (most probably mine!) where you think “sheesh”. Yes I have met both Trump supporters and religious people on here. It’s generally pretty easy to avoid politics, especially in another country. Religion is a different ballgame. If someone touches on religion I’m not fussed, if it floats their boat. If I get the feeling it’s being rammed down my throat I’ll unfollow but won’t usually say anything. They are entitled to their beliefs, they’re just not for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Definitely not to a blogger I had never been in contact with before.
        There are lots of bloggers in the world wide web whose posts I would not even read – I see the title or image and decide to keep away.

        Just as the vast majority of TV shows are something I would not enjoy. I just avoid them. I don’t write in to the BBC about everything I disagree with. In fact I never have written in even though I have been aware of errors in reporting (like when they reported on one of my siblings who made headlines).

        If a blogger I have regular contact with writes something and I think it is not balanced, I might tactfully and respectfully mention how the situation might be regarded by others.

        But I am neutral in politics, respectful of people’s religious or non-beliefs and a lot of subjects seem so trivial I don’t waste me time on them.

        I am not interested in arguments. I am interested in love. The internet is very limited. I prefer real life.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I tend to just stop reading. Reading blogs is catching up with me time. So I’m selective about ‘the company I keep’. I know that it takes all sorts to fill up the candy jar and there are tons of views out there that are different to mine. I love considering other points of view, but I just literally don’t have the time or the energy to engage with anything that doesn’t add value to my life. Namaste 🙏🏾😁💝🎈🎉

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Fortunately, I haven’t come across any blogs that I dislike so far but if I saw a rude/obnoxious/inappropriate comment on a post, I would probably put my tuppence worth in. Same on Twitter. We’re not all going to agree on everything and I suppose it’s how you comment that counts. I’ve debated with one or two people and no harm’s come to me – yet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. Mostly I won’t bother, but if I do write something, I can say it nicely. I’ve never experienced rudeness on here. A lot of the time people aren’t into the same things that I’m into, but….whatever floats their boat. As long as the blog does not consistently become uninteresting…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think there’s no harm in debating, as long as you’re respectful. I’ve had a few odd comments sometimes that I don’t feel it have a place in mental illness. Many years ago, we had to stop our nurses reading or quoting from various religious books/bibles/Watch Tower to our patients. They seemed to be taking the content out of proportion and blaming sins for their mental illness. While appreciate others have their beliefs.

        Yes, of course, not all blogs are my cup of tea, the same as lots of people won’t find my blog of interest, I still like to read them and engage.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes, that’s a difficult one, isn’t it? Just because I guess a lot of things come from some kind of angle, even something like a newspaper article will attempt to convey a message, just by what it does and doesn’t say. and you’re maybe dealing with people whose critical thinking might be impaired.

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