The Caramel Crunch (4 April 2020)

Over at Caramel (Learner at Love), CARAMEL has started a new prompt. I’d like to see her prompt do well, and I had some time today to write a post, so here we go…

The prompts are called the Caramel Crunch and so far are centered around a moral question. For your convenience I shall repeat her question.

A blogger who has been reading your posts keeps on making rather acrid comments at the end of your posts. They seem to be increasingly critical and making fun of your character. You try to respond in good humour, but the blogger seems to continue with more sarcastic and cutting remarks. What do you do?

Does this actually happen on WordPress? I have found everybody on WordPress is immensely polite. Even where people pick up on something I wrote and disagree with it, it’s never been done done with any nastiness.

So, my first question is, Are you sure they’re being malevolent? I say this because some people have a weird sense of humour. I know if I post something jokily, before I publish I do try to remember to ask myself Could it be misinterpreted? Might they be offended? I have to say that the answer to these will depend on who I’m talking to. I’m more confident when I feel I know how somebody will react. So I might make a different comment to different people. But maybe sometimes the commenter will misjudge this?

I’m not saying that this is acceptable behaviour, but it would change my response. If I thought they were just being clumsy, I’d respond to the effect that their comment was inappropriate.

Okay, if I thought somebody was being malevolent, I’d block them, pure and simple. I’m not even sure what blocking means on WordPress, because I’ve never done it. I wouldn’t censor their comment, but I would reply to the effect that the comment was unacceptable, just so that other readers get the message.

The basic philosophy here is that blogging should be a 100% positive experience. 100% enjoyable. We don’t have to agree with each other, but we can at least disagree in a civilised manner. I don’t think blocking somebody is a particularly negative thing either, you’re simply making the point that you expect a better quality of debate. Let them go find some blogs at their own level.

The other thing here is that I think the old adage applies (I bet Fandango will quote this in his A-Z in a few days 🙂), that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I try to live by that; sometimes I even succeed! But if I find a post that I disagree with, I’d like to think I could just walk on by, rather than start a conflict. I hope I do succeed in that, there have been one or two posts/comments, especially on diabetes, that I have concluded are bs, but I don’t think I ever said anything to that effect.

As I’ve already said I have never experienced this on WordPress, but I did on Facebook, which I’ve used off-and-on for more than 10 years. On Facebook, I resolved long ago to block nasty people, and, really, the platform is irrelevant here. I say again, it’s not the disagreement I have a problem with, it’s the nastiness. I’m a silly old duffer who thinks that we can at least communicate civilly with each other.

Now, Caramel, you gonna block me? 🤣

Author: Mister Bump UK

Formerly Stroke Survivor UK. Designed/developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Returned to developing from home, plus do some voluntary work. Married, with a grown-up, left-home daughter.

15 thoughts on “The Caramel Crunch (4 April 2020)”

  1. I think you are right, for the most part bloggers are very lovely and polite. Sometimes when someone has started to read my posts and comment on them it takes me a while to figure out the wavelength they are on (I mean their humour) and I am sure others would say the same of mine.

    I have had very few bad experiences. I blocked a few bloggers who sounded as if they were writing messages under the influence of some pretty powerful substances. There was a blogger when I began blogging who seemed to belittle me a lot. Basically telling me I was immature and foolish and that I needed to grow up. I didn’t block them. I just decided not to respond at all and eventually they seemed to grow tired of trying to leave comments at the end of my posts.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. If you block somebody on here, is it the same as on Facebook? I feel quite strongly that not only is it a pity that you had a negative experience, but that it is just not acceptable on a platform we choose to be a part of because we want to blog. I wonder how many men have had bad experiences versus women? I wonder if there’s an element of bullying in there? You know, because you’re a woman, some men feel that their behaviour is acceptable. The more I think about it, the more horrible it seems.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The few I blocked….well, you would have to see their comments to believe them. They were essay-long and they were very very strange. They had nothing to do with my posts, they were what I can only describe as spam. But it was the weirdest spam I have seen. It was as if they were calling evil spirits to curse me. Yeah…I didn’t want that in my comments.

        I am very security conscious, but I don’t mind friendly chatter with male bloggers. If I felt uncomfortable I would say or just stop replying.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I’ve seen a few essays in comments and I think it’s inappropriate. If you have that much to say, write a post! A comment should be a couple of lines, no more really than we are doing here.

          Like

  2. I really like yoyr answer Pete. I too have found WirdPress to be a most cuvil community, though I have had a couple of truly nasty emails about a couple of my posts, attacking my character (as if they knew me anyway lol. When that hapoened, I felt si bad that I deleted my while post. Occasionally, sunce then, if I have posted something that then made me feel too vulnerable as a result of those personal atracks, I have reconsudered (got frightened lol) and deleted them. But mostky oeople are really nice, as you say.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vulnerability was one of the reasons I blog anonymously. I can write posts about my relationship with my daughter, say, which somebody might read and decide I am a bastard. If I’m anonymous, it doesn’t really matter. If I weren’t anonymous, the subject would be out of bounds so the blog would be narrower.
      It is funny because if somebody decides, having read a post, that we are horrible people, there must be plenty of nice people they can just follow instead. I do think there is something not quite right mentally when they feel they need to send an email to tell us how horrible we are.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I agree with you about the beeding to stay anonymous. I debated wuth mysekf abiut it andvdid for a long time, then somehow or other broke it. Maybe because some very nicenpeople saud exactly who they were and where theymlived and I kind of dropoed my guard.
        Lyes regarding the emails. It was just two, but people can have a knack if hutting right below the belt when you are feeling at your weakest. of course,that is usually offset by others who are so different.

        Come to think ofnutbthough,vInhave had a couple of trolls who crutucused my spelling mustajes but they werenout to hurt. Not genuinely wanting to help. I sawvthem off though.
        Li guess there are all sorts, but mostly on WP people are genuinely caring abd brilkiant.

        Liked by 1 person

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