The Caramel Crunch (8 February 2020)

Over at Caramel (Learner at Love), CARAMEL has started a new prompt. I’d like to see her prompt do well, and I had some time today to write a post, so here we go…

The prompts are called the Caramel Crunch and so far are centered around a moral question. For your convenience I shall repeat her question.

You become aware that the marriage mate of a friend of yours is romantically involved with someone else. As far as you are aware your friend does not know anything about it. What would you do?

Me? Okay, suppressing a chuckle. I reckon that the probability that one of my friends, their partner is cheating on them is minute (but I suppose you never know). The probability that I would know about it, astronomical.

If I did know, then I would basically make like I didn’t know. I think. See no evil, hear no evil. I’d say and do nothing. I would keep out of their relationship. If it is so messed up that one of them is going off having affairs, it’ll fall apart anyway without me needing to be a catalyst. But I reckon there is every bit as much chance of the friend turning on me.

If I knew the cheating partner, though, it might make me keep my distance from them in the future.

Sorry, pretty crappy post this week, but I can’t really relate to the question. From where I stand, I’ve had my child, she has grown up, left home. Thank goodness. You think I’d wanna do that again? I like having my wife around, but if she decided she had better options, then good luck to her. Marriages are hard work and I wouldn’t be prepared to put that amount of work into another relationship. I think my friends are pretty much the same. I’m not sure that any of us could be bothered having an affair. We’re all settled – most of us have been with our partners for decades. We made our choices, for better or worse.


  1. I guess my reasons for this question were two-fold.

    There was a guy being very flirty with me and he asked me out a number of times. I held back because it was not a good time for me. However I was totally dumbfounded when I learnt he was married.

    I have also been in the position where I learnt that a friend’s new boyfriend was actually married to one of my other friends. She had shown me a photo of her new boyfriend, and without thinking I blurted out that I knew him. He had not told her he was married. They had met online and started writing to each other and then agreed to meet.

    In the end I decided to make contact with him directly and explain the position I was in. He was the one who had to tell both women what he had been hiding. I won’t tell you what happened next…but as you can imagine, there were two women who both felt deceived and betrayed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And it kinda puts you in an awkward position, on top. I don’t particularly want to know other people’s secrets.

      I can see where somebody might get a bit fed up in a marriage from time to time, there were times sometimes when I didn’t feel like going home, but I reckon that’s going to happen when you’ve been together several years. But going off and having an affair is a bit apocalyptic. It’s very risky, if only because your bit on the side, her mate might recognise your photograph!

      Rescued from my spam folder, btw. Akismet seems to have no rhyme or reason.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I found myself in that predicament once. I knew them both and she started to tell me about another guy from work, who she liked. It was pretty childish. She stayed with her boyfriend for a while and then it fell apart. It’s pretty shitty for the guy to learn that we all ‘knew’.
    I did tell her that she needed to inform the boyfriend that she was seeing someone else but it was her responsibility. It’s not fun to hear those things as a friend of both parties.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes I fully agree. It must put people in an awkward position, just to know about two other people, not even to be involved ourselves. Life is awkward enough without adding to it.
      A friend of mine confided that he had seen an ex-girlfriend while away on a business trip. I felt awkward, because I knew his wife, too. I forgot the conversation instantly, in the end it was just as well – he stayed with his wife so I figured what the didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. But I wish I hadn’t known, either.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes I also prefer not to know but sometimes it seems to be inevitable. Best to keep loyal friends who are loyal to their better halves as well. That’s the most easy approach.
        I liked your ‘see no evil, hear no evil’ too, it seems to be the bottom line.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I often used to think twice before getting involved – was it better to be involved with this person, or to stay available on the off-chance that somebody else would come along. But I think once you make the decision to jump in, you’re in. Until you get out.

          Liked by 1 person

            • On that subject, tv here has been advertising slushy movies for Valentine’s Day. You are lucky not to have a tv! Wife and I do not observe – we are cynical in our old age and every occasion is just an excuse for someone to sell you something you don’t need. It is our anniversary anyway in March – last year we went to a cat cafe. You should try finding a dog cafe 🙂.

              Liked by 1 person

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