Plumber Required

My damn bathroom tap
Leaks so bad, I brushed my teeth
No need to turn on.


Half Baked

Million dollar heist,
The baker was convicted,
He kneaded the dough.


This is my response to this week’s Flashback Track Friday prompt, where we were given Summertime by Janis Joplin and asked to:

Write an elegy to summer.

In vivid costume, peacock blue,
Under sultry summer sun,
A throng arrives at Ladbroke Grove,
To carnival they’ve come.

Banana yellow, brilliant white,
The main parade, the rainbow swirls,
With sunburnt orange, headdress gole,
The stoops, the jumps, the moves, the whirls.

A thousand systemsaset the tune,
On every corner, hum the theme,
Cacophony of much-loved sounds,
Fuelling vision, fuelling dream.

A gastronome’s Carribean delight,
Of plantain, yam, goat, chicken, rice,
A glutton’s dream, unbounded choice,
Have just arrived in paradise.

Early adulthood, I would visit the Notting Hill Carnival each year. It took placethat last weekend in August, which is a bank holiday in the UK.

That timing seemed significant, because everything starts moving again in September, so this felt like a massive blowout to celebrate the end of summer.

I can remember going with a few girlfriends. Mostly, it was me that was really into the event, they came along because they’d heard of it and wanted to see for themselves. One Jamaican girlfriend, however, was a young mum and introduced me to “children’s day”, which preceded the main carnival days. That’s a nice touch, I think.

It started in the mid Sixties as a Carribean carnival, and just grew. By the time I started going it was popular, but now they measure estimated attendances in the millions. That’s too many people for me. They call it Europe’s Biggest Street Party (it takes place just on open roads) and I wouldn’t argue.

I found some images on the web.


This is my response to this week’s Flashback Track Friday prompt, where we were given Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft by The Carpenters and asked to:

Write a story about first contact.

Once upon a time…

“… and so, in conclusion”, Colonel Clucker mustered as statesman-like a voice as she could find, “I would like to present you with this small token from the people of Coopillion, to symbolise the future bonds we hope to forge between our two, great species.”

And with that, Colonel Clucker nodded to Private Pecker, who stepped carefully forward, holding a regally purple, velvet cushion, upon which had been placed a single brown egg, warm from basking in the sunlight.

There had been much discussion about this act at the Chicken High Council. The planet’s living conditions were tolerable, but the planet’s main occupants, the humans, were in general a primitive, barbaric specie. So primitive, in fact, that there had been a long debate about whether it was even worth making contact.

Had it not been for Private Pecker, whose chance remark, that humans would benefit from eating eggs to increase their intelligence, had been overheard by an elder.

And thus were sown the seeds of the idea. To contact the humans, but at the same time to present them with a gift which would hopefully bring their intellects up to the level of the chickens. Their own, unfertilised eggs. Useless, unfertilised, to chickens, but containing the ideal blend of vitamins and nutrients to promote brain growth in humans.

A whole brigade had been dispatched from the CCC – the Chicken Catering Corps – to create as many mouth-watering recipes as possible, and Pecker was immensely proud that she herself, having been assigned to oversee the project in recognition of her original idea, had masterminded the delicate intricacy of the soufflé.

And, finally, they were prepared. Colonel Clucker’s breast had swelled with pride, as she learned that she was to lead the greeting party, and she felt a tremendous sense of achievement now that her task was complete. The chickens had successfully made contact.

The three humans, however, were quite unprepared for such an eloquent speech, and Clucker was slightly perturbed when one of them left the scene, then returned a moment later, his hand glinting in the sunlight.


This year’s marathon,
Won by my local barber,
Who knew a short cut.

Fool’s Errand

My elder brother,
Fashioned belt made of watches.
Complete waist of time.

Full Up

Teddy Bear dined out,
But had no room for desert,
Told friends he was stuffed.

Crimes and Misdemeanours

Frog caused confusion,
When he parked illegally,
And got himself toad.