‘Twas getting on for winter,
A chill was in the air,
Prob’ly not the best day,
To sunbathe, buttocks bare.

I’d been there just five minutes,
I started to succumb,
When, quivering, I realised
My bottom half was numb.

Amidst the rolling sand dunes,
My trepidation grew,
I glanced down at my privates,
Disturbingly, deep blue.

That wasn’t all, I noticed,
“My Gosh”, I said, aloud,
For everything had shrivelled,
A mouse would have been proud.

I quickly made my mind up,
I’d had enough today,
I’d go back home, to further spare,
The peanuts on display.

Before I left, one last thing,
I longed to take a pee,
So, running to the shoreline,
I widdled in the sea.

Back home in my apartment,
I smiled at Murphy’s Law,
And half an hour later,
My bits began to thaw.