This is my response to this week’s Flashback Track Friday prompt, where we were asked simply:
Tell us about a celebration.
The day I got married was blissful,
And my morning set off like a dream,
But aware of the big day before me,
For some courage, I turned to Jim Beam.
Well, I met my Best Man in the alehouse,
I had nerves before I tied the knot,
In his wisdom, my mate tried to calm me,
And we ordered a couple more shots.
After that, I thought we’d better scarper,
I could not be late for my big day,
But we still were a half hour too early,
So stopped off in the pub on the way.
When we fin’ly arrived at the church steps,
Found my missus was already there,
On my breath she smelled remnants of whiskey,
And she gave me my first deathly stare.
In the church, there were one or two hiccups,
As the liquor made known its effect,
Through her veil I could see she was glaring,
I already felt slightly henpecked.
Well, we somehow got right through the nuptuals,
And emerged from the church man and wife,
Then I realised, as if struck by lightning,
I’d be chained for the rest of my life.
But before all that was the reception,
An excuse for to let my hair down,
But my new missus wasn’t so happy,
I could tell from her “just married” frown.
With my fate sealed, I carried on drinking,
I got drunk as a skunk, I’ll admit,
Our first romp in the midst of the dance floor,
I tripped up and went arse over tit.
As I sat, deaf and dumb, through the speeches,
I could hardly stay ‘wake for the toasts,
But the waiter kept filling my glass up,
And I’d probably drunk more than most.
After speeches, reception got going,
Auntie Mabel got totally wrecked,
Uncle Bernard could tell she was wasted,
But did not have the strength to object.
It was late when the party turned boistrous,
And by then I was not feeling right,
Uncle Ernie spilled wine over Mabel,
And the two families started a fight.
By the time we had stopped all the aggro,
I decided enough was enough,
The reception was pretty much over,
And by then I was feeling plain rough.
Some time later my missus got frisky,
With her “come to bed” eyes, was no doubt,
But the moment we got to the bedroom,
I sat down on the bed and passed out.