Fandango Provocatively asks:
What has been the most difficult, hardest, or most painful decision you’ve ever had to make in your life?
I thought this question was interesting, just because so many of my decisions have been easy.
Life-altering decisions such as:
- whether to move to the USA or to stay put;
- to get married. In fact, I knew it was right because it was so easy;
- to have children
were all no-brainers.
I suppose in terms of difficult decisions, I think probably the most difficult is still ongoing.
Do I want my daughter to be a part of my life, going forward?
For those of you who don’t know my history, my daughter accused me of child abuse. 2015, when she would have been fifteen.
I resent that, mostly because I didn’t abuse her. In fact, Mrs Bump and I, like most parents, went out of our way to ensure that she had a better start in life than we had.
So not only did we endure my daughter’s behaviour for several years before, we endured police, social services, solicitors… for probably six months after. The only thing we were spared from was court, because there simply wasn’t any evidence. In fact, the case against us was dropped when my daughter shot herself in the foot, also accusing known, trusted foster carers of child abuse.
The other reason I resent her behaviour is that, six months after all this stress, I suffered a stroke. I blame her, at least partially. She gets to act like nothing ever happened, and I get to live the rest of my life disabled.
There were various special circumstances with my daughter, mental health diagnoses, which always meant that bringing her up would be a challenge, but ultimately she harmed me, caused permanent damage, and I’m veering toward thinking that what she did was unforgiveable.
Veering. We’re mostly not in contact, but there is a tiny thread there. Whether/when I sever that completely will be the toughest decision.