For Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #134, where we write about the image below, from Pinterest.

A picture containing grass, outdoor, nature, smoke

Description automatically generated

Chris wore a smug expression on his unshaven face, and no wonder. For today, his new Alexxxa 6000 had been delivered. For the first time, Amazon had pulled out the stops, to deliver an adult-specific version of its smart device. A real leap in artificial intelligence, Chris had secured one of the first production models, and though she had cost him four months’ salary, he was convinced she wasa sound investment.

His clammy hands trembled as he meticulously unwrapped the large package, being careful not to cause any damage – he wanted it to be in A1 condition when he finally got to use it.

When, at last, he was done, Chris set his new Alexxxa down to charge, for the 6000 was the first rechargeable model, which did not need to be permanently tethered to the wall. She could be recharged simply by placing the discreetly concealed contacts in the proximity of a charging plate.

While Alexxxa still showed red, Chris had time to kill, and he shuffled through to the kitchen to prepare his favourite sandwich, pastrami on rye. His long, dark, greasy hair flopped over his eyes as he sliced the pickled cucumber, momentarily obscuring his vision.

Returning to the lounge, he had just finished the last morsel of sandwich when he noticed Alexxxa turn to green. The moment of truth.

Wiping his bristly mouth, Chris impatiently cleared his throat.

“Alexxxa, tell me about the weather for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow in London it will be mostly sunny, with an overnight low of 10°, and an expected high of 25°. There is a 0-5% chance of rain.”

So far, so good, but Chris had greater plans for Alexxxa.

“Alexxxa”, he croaked in trepidation, hardly daring to believe that his wildest dreams were about to come true. Waiting half a second, he continued, “go and fit your raunchy head, then get undressed and wait for me in bed.”

As an afterthought, Chris added “Oh. And Alexa? Set an alarm for when you are ready.”

There was a tiny hint of self-satisfaction on Chris’s voice as he removed his track suit bottoms.


    • It seems impossible but then you hear about things like that shooter in Plymouth, who was in this group of bachelor men who blamed women for not being able to have relationships, rather than sharpening up themselves.
      I can’t even remember what the label was, but I remember there was one, I.e. there are so many of these men that someone thought of a label for them. Involuntary celibate something?

      So, yeah, in that context, very plausible. And super creepy. That’s what happens when you start writing without a specific plan – you don’t know quite where you’ll end up.

      Liked by 1 person

        • I must admit I hadn’t consciously given it any further thought.

          But, it’s a great shame because, if only these people could just… relax.

          You know, for every guy who thinks “there is no-one out there for me”, there is a woman out there who is also thinking “there is no-one out there for me”. Possibly the main thing I have learned in all my time is that, under the hood, we’re all basically the same. We basically have the same wants and anxieties.
          But maybe at 20, you haven’t got there yet? I think the biggest benefit we get from age is perspective.

          The shooter in Plymouth was 22. He posted videos online about how life had defeated him. ffs.


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