Fandango’s Provocative Question (2 December 2020)

Prompt image for the Fandango's Provocative Question prompt

For today’s Provocative Question, Fandango asks:

When it comes to your friends, your spouse, your significant other, or members of your family, is it better to confront them about things they say or do that bother or upset you or is it better to try to ignore those things in order to maintain peace in your relationship?

I have a work-colleague-who-became-real-life-friend, and it’s funny because we would go out for lunch together and a couple of times, he would say something like “when you said x yesterday, it really pissed me off”.

There were various responses. Sometimes he had misunderstood, sometimes I just apologised, sometimes I stood my ground and explained why I thought what I thought… The point was, he was totally up-front about it, and because of that I felt I knew exactly where I stood. If he was pissed off about something, he said why, and that was that. And, we became good friends.

I, on the other hand, am not really like that. I think I’m more introverted. If I’m pissed off with somebody, it tends to just count against them on their “balance sheet”, and I’ll use that balance sheet to decide whether they’re worth bothering with in the future. So, it’s not really ignore, but at the same time it’s not causing a song and dance.

That’s not even restricted just to friends. If a politician says something dumb, that again counts against them, and the next time they say something, I might not be listening.

It’s all about credibility.

With my wife, it is a little bit different. We’ll sometimes bicker and will sometimes not speak to one another for a week. But, so far, I always have to let it go. In terms of a balance sheet, I’d still far sooner be married to her than not married to her. She gets a special place.

Author: Mister Bump UK

Designed/developed large IT systems, interrupted by a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Now mix development of health-related software with voluntary work and writing. Married, with an estranged daughter.

11 thoughts on “Fandango’s Provocative Question (2 December 2020)”

    1. My tolerance only goes so far, I’m afraid. I won’t be tolerant enough to keep listening to people who keep spouting rubbish! Preople often talk about “turning the other cheek”, but I wonder if they mean somebody playing them for a fool again and again?

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I think communication is very important, especially in a couple. But it’s also true that it’s not always so easy to take out our feelings. I guess we should try to reach a compromise in order not to cumulate negative feelings.
    Have a nice day πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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