The Diet

for Fandango’s One Word Challenge(FOWC) of 24 October 2020, magnitude.

Where food’s concerned, I just want to fry it,
But my doctor said, I must go on a diet,
And my darling old wife, she was in on the act,
I think her and the doctor, they both made a pact.

I’m sitting at breakfast, knife and fork in my hand,
When my missus comes in with a big bowl on bran!
I can’t understate the sheer magnitude,
When what she presented was pure rabbit food!

I pick up the jug, getting ready to pour,
But my full-fat arrangement is present no more,
My wife says the milk is also low fat,
She’s given the good stuff to the cat.

I’m just about to go berserk,
My wife comes back and wears a smirk.
There’s no way this meal sets me up for the day,
Is there not some bacon hidden away?

I sit there hungry as a horse,
These really are grounds for divorce,
Another thought then enters head,
I’ll go out to the cafe instead.

I stomp around, I’m getting dressed,
She will not thwart me on my quest,
As I get my shoes and fix my braces,
She’s only gone and hid my laces!


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