Two out of Three Ain’t Bad

God visited a woman and told her that she must give up smoking, drinking and sex if she wanted to get into heaven.

The woman said she would try her best.

The next week, God returns to the woman to see how she is doing. “Not bad”, says the woman. “I’ve given up smoking and drinking, but when I was bending over to get some food out of the freezer, my boyfriend could not resist. He pushed my skirt up, pulled my pants down, and made love to me right there and then.”

“Ooooh”, says God. “We don’t like that in heaven”.

“No, they weren’t keen on it in the supermarket, either.”


Hope you’re all having a good weekend.

Author: Mister Bump UK

Formerly Stroke Survivor UK. Designed/developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Returned to developing from home, plus do some voluntary work. Married, with a grown-up, left-home daughter.

5 thoughts on “Two out of Three Ain’t Bad”

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