Fandango’s Provocative Question (22 January 2020)

Hahaha, I chuckled when I read Fandango’s Provocative Question today, because his question is one I had already asked myself. So the test for me today will be to try and turn my thoughts into a coherent post! He asks:

If you could be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?

Okay, two parts to my answer. One of which I could do in a single day, the other might take longer (I’ll let you guess which is which πŸ™‚). Both of these assume that I would be a woman who be a turn-on to men, because I’d want to be in a position where I provoked some sexual feelings.

Most important, I’d want to think like the opposite sex for a short time. I’d like to experience what they experience daily. Just for a short while. I’d like to experience something like gender inequality, or somebody making unwanted sexual advances, just so I knew for myself. It’d give me better empathy. I only ever got one unwanted sexual advance in my life – something was said (very directly), I said I wasn’t interested, and that was the end of the matter. There was no further pestering, so it was no big deal on my side. But I’d like to learn about when a simple no is not the end of the matter.

I mean, to be honest, I could get partway there by being in another guy’s body. A certain type of guy, anyway. One of the things I got from #MeToo was that some guys view any woman as prey. I’d kinda like to know what goes through their heads too, just because for me the biggest turn-on was always consent – that somebody else wanted to do with me what I wanted to do with them.

And it’s not just the sexual harassment side. I know my wife has a different thought process to mine. I’m not saying it is better or worse, but it is manifestly different. What was she looking for in the first place? What made for good partner/father material? What made her settle for me πŸ™‚? And she will readily say that we were made for each other. I’ll be more dispassionate and say that we were two single adults who happened to meet in what was basically a singles bar, who got on with each other well enough that we decided to build a life, and then a family, together. With me, there are many more coincidences than just fate. She says I was destined to be with her, but I could easily enough have met somebody else the week after. So I’d like to understand that, too. [Hint – that might take more than a day!]

I suppose my answer beyond that is quite difficult because I start from a place where we’re equal in most things. Most kinds of job, I never really saw a difference between a man or a woman doing it, so I would expect the experience to be pretty much the same regardless of what gender I was. One inescapable area of difference, however, is gynaecological.

I mean, you could stick your pregnancy and having babies. No thank you πŸ™‚. Same as you can skip toothache! Although as a passing interest, I’d like to understand more about what makes a mother’s bond so much stronger than a father’s. I’d like to understand more the nerve pains my wife feels, since she gave birth, which despite investigations, the medical profession treat best with painkillers.

Sex, however, is a different matter! Okay, my second part is quite flippant, but it is true nevertheless! I know sex always felt good for me, and I know that the studies say that a woman is even more sensitive, so presumably the pleasure of an orgasm, say, is even greater? I’d certainly be willing to find out. In fact for all sorts of sex acts that I’ve only ever experienced as a man, I would like to find out what they’re like from a woman’s perspective (maybe just one time, though πŸ™‚). I guess most women readers will just be tutting right about now, and saying typical man, but were you never interested to find out too? I know my wife once said that if she were a man for a day, she would spend it playing with herself! (So, maybe we are well-matched!)

And if you think that paragraph was flippant, be thankful it didn’t look like this!

Author: Mister Bump UK

Formerly Stroke Survivor UK. Designed/developed IT systems for banks, but had a stroke in 2016, aged 48. Returned to developing from home, plus do some voluntary work. Married, with a grown-up, left-home daughter.

23 thoughts on “Fandango’s Provocative Question (22 January 2020)”

  1. I think everybody’s answer will be the same. If I were to be a man for one day, I would pee standing as much I can (because I always wanted to do that) and I would have sex. I guess I will be disappointed to know ‘how it really works’. Maybe I would try to pick up some girls, see if it’s really that hard as some men portray it to be! I guess I would look a hundred times in the mirror to see how my beard looks. But what if I’m gay? That would be very much complicated for one day. This is a fun provocative question πŸ™‚

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      1. Wauw! I could see how far I could pee and try to aim at things. I would probably forget about the other things I would like to do. I really tried to pee standing up till I was 4 or so, my mother made me stop trying! πŸ˜…

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  2. I think that would be a great idea – for men to experience how sex is for women, what turns them on/off etc so they know what they’re getting wrong or right πŸ˜‰ For me, if I was a man for a while, I’d teach other men how to treat a lady (cos as a female, I have first-hand knowledge and experience).
    I’d also like to be able to stand at the side of the motorway and pee. Us women have to see some bushes up ahead (that we can hide behind) before we’ll stop for a pee.

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    1. Yes, I saw one of Fandango’s other respondents to today’s question said that too. It’s a pity that people need to be taught how to behave with other people, isn’t it?
      Peeing seems to be a bigger issue than I thought it was πŸ™‚. I must admit I often pee sitting down these days, just because with one working hand it is easier to undo trousers altogether than to undo just flies, keep all the clother out of the way etc. For the same reason, I try to limit drinking when I’m out, just because it’s far easier when I only have to pee at home. I never thought I’d come to planning a piss!

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      1. Hahaha. Yes, it is a shame πŸ™‚ Also yes, peeing is a biggie – imagine at an outdoor concert with hundreds of women all queuing for a pee and we see the men just go up against a tree or a wall 😦 And these days I too have to be careful about my fluid intake if I’m going out or on a long car journey. I have no internal sensation so I only know at the last second and I have to go immediately!

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        1. Actually that’s interesting because we would always say to daughter that she needed to tell us when she could start to feel like she needed a pee (in the car), and we’d find somewhere to stop. She would always say, “I need a pee – and by the way, I’m desperate”, So I’d often have to stop and she’d just have to squat. I wonder if it was the same thing? We could never tell, but when someone tells you they’re desperate, you don’t have much choice.

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                1. Yup, but equally it’s not something that bothers me. I felt joyful when she hit 18 because any remaining responsibility had been lifted from me. I mean, not medical, because that was gone already, but just everything else.

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  3. Great response to the question. It’s interesting that you covered the range, from emotional to intellectual to physical. I think everyone would like to understand how the opposite sex experiences things, including sex. But what I don’t understand is why women seem to want to pee standing up. That’s nuts. πŸ˜‰

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      1. I noticed that somebody *was* following you last time around and was debating whether to just repost their previous answer. So I guess it sometimes backfires πŸ™‚. But even that would have been interesting, just to see if the view had changed any.

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    1. It’s got to be to focus on the differences, hasn’t it? And there are only really a few. The one thing I might have added to my post was to maybe go through an abortion, just to understand better the competing feelings which must go on. Actually that’s one thing I’m glad I never went through, even as someone’s partner.
      It’s very sad I thought that one of the responses I read, plus one of the comments on here, was “to teach men how to behave properly”. So in that respect at least, a very serious question. Good one!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such an interesting question and an interesting answer. I’m so glad you’d be willing to experience what it is like to be approached sexually without your consent and a simple “No” not to be enough. It’s interesting to read the comments, since peeing while standing or having sex never came to mind when I thought of the question. Then again, I’m gray-asexual, so that may be why.

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    1. Thanks, Astrid. Truth be told, if I were a woman for the day, I’d want to experience all the things I couldn’t experience as a man. I don’t really see a lot of differences but the whole area around emotions is something I’d like to explore, including things like sexual turn-ons. I abstain now too, but I remember what I used to be like!

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