I’m involved in an online discussion at the moment. A woman has recently had a stroke. Fortunatley not a lot of damage by the sound of things, although she has noticed inexplicable mood swings.
Emotion is a very tricky thing to quantify. I remember I was a wreck when I left hospital. Just to be able to walk back through my front door again was so significant. Since then, my recollection is that I have got a lot better in all sorts of ways. Many of them are recorded in this blog, which must be very dull for your average reader. But I make no apology for this, as it records what I was able to do, or how I felt about something, at a specific time. For me, this is hugely important because it is strange how the memory plays tricks. For example, I can set myself a goal and faff around trying to achieve it for what seems like a month or so – but sometimes I can check back here and see that, actually, it has been a year!
On the same subject, I was reading the blog yesterday of the woman who has early onset dementia (I’ve written about her before), and she says that the main point of her writing is to basically give people hope that there is life after diagnosis. I have to say that my own goal is somewhat more selfish, in providing a record for myself. In saying that, I do recognise that the only way out of this is to continually push myself, and if this gives inspiration to some stroke survivors, then all well and good.
Incidentally I’ve seen a few comments in this woman’s blog about how she does inspire people. (I even had one comment once myself about how I was inspirational, although since it only happened once I’d assume I’m not very inspirational 😊). But certainly from my perspective, I’m not inspirational. Lord knows, I have my faults, as my wife will testify! I’m just an ordinary guy who has been put into this shitty situation and is trying, as best he can, to get on with life. So I’m afraid I take words like “inspirational” with a pinch of salt. I mean, people mean it as a compliment, so that’s nice, but beyond that…