Improving

Let me take a moment to write this ditty,
It is certainly fun, and very witty,
I worked quite hard to make it rhyme,
And almost succeeded, as you can see.

Fandango’s One Word Challenge (29 August 2020)

for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC), speech.

My lords, and ladies and gentlemen,
I clear my throat, and then say “ahem”,
I would like to tell you ’bout why I’m so late,
I’m sorry, I got myself into a state.

It wasn’t my fault, I hope you don’t mind,
One thing, then another, they all intertwined,
But I’m over the worst – I hope so at least
I hope all my pent-up frustration released.

But now that I’m here, please don’t be complaining,
I shall do my best to be entertaining,
Shan’t keep you too long, and you should raise a smile,
Delivering lines with panahe and with style.

I can see you’re all getting restless now,
So I will quickly bid you “ciao”
But let me just end by proposing a toast,
To Fandango, our congenial host.


Bit of a funny morning this morning. Got up at my normal time and fired up my laptop, but everything seemed to take longer, and I’m listening to the disk thrashing about. So, as well as having trouble listening to posts, I’ve been opening and closing things to see if it makes any difference. Bearing in mind that I like to listen to posts, it was very difficult to hear anything with any fluidity just because it would all keep stopping and starting. For example, there are two posts which go live at 8AM my time, this morning I never got through my pile of overnight posts to read them until 10AM.

I finally ran some diagnostics tools (which was a feat in itself) which seemed to give a hint that some anti-virus program was taking up far more time than it should, and I was reminded that, a couple of days ago, I just upgraded the 2020 version of this program to the 2021 version. I finally managed to de-install the offending program (which took *lots* of patience!), restarted the computer, and hopefully, it is all running a bit more smoothly now.

The thing I hate most about Windows is that your computer starts running like a dog, and it is just so difficult to discover exactly what the culprit is.

So it seems WordPress are not the only people to dick people around.

Cliché

“I’m not being funny, but …” begins every line
My blood pressure’s rising, but really, I’m fine,
It is just as well she thought prudent to mention,
This serious matter deserves full attention.

We had an English Teacher very early on in High School, it’s funny because we all thought he was a bit of an eejit at the time, but here I am all these years later echoing what he said.

He used to say that our use of clichés was due to not being able to think quickly enough. We wish to command, or to continue commanding, the conversation, but cannot think of anything useful to say, so we come out with this meaningless little filler just to allow our brain a fraction of a second to catch up.

This guy also had a theory about swearing. Exactly the same thing. Just an inability to access the required vocabulary in the allowed time.

Just to get something out to let off the excess steam, we say “oh, fuck” because we can’t think quickly enough to be able to say “oh dear, whilst trying to bang in this nail, I just hammered my thumb instead”.

I reckon this guy was twenty years older than me, so there is every chance that he is still very much with us. If so, Thank You, Mr. Lynch.


I consider myself very fortunate to have received a good education. A very small part of that was actually me, just for having the good sense to squeeze as much as I possibly could out of the system. Today’s poem is an ode to my daughter, who had many more opportunities than I ever did, and spurned them all.

Starved

As eight o’clock strikes, my tummy is rumbling,
“I’m ready for breakfast”, I hear myself grumbling,
Into the kitchen for something to eat,
I open the fridge and turn white as a sheet!

That milk’s very smelly, I think it is sour
No porridge this morning, my eyes start to scour.
That bread’s very green, that looks like mould,
Have a sneaking suspicion, that loaf is too old.

Into the freezer to look for a treat,
But treats are all gone, I ate them last week.
My mind in a quandry, my head starts to spin,
The house is plain empty, nothing within.

for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of 26 August, 2020, nothing.

My Weekend Treat

Have a guess what came on tv yesterday?

As Good As It Gets – just a feelgood attraction,
No need for violence, no need for action,
No Need to escape from engulfing black hole,
Just a bunch of good parts
And some great interaction.

Happy Monday, folks.