Overqualified

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of of 12 May 2021, whimsical. I’m sorry I couldn’t resist the last line.

He was never a shining bright spark,
And was stuck what career to embark,
But his charm it was whimsical,
So chose pathway political,
And now he’s running the f’in country


Prompt image for the Fandango One Word Challenge prompt

Consequences

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of of 11 May 2021, tirade.

The husband’s new camera got crushed,
So he scolded his wife ’til she gushed,
She got tired of tirade
So she lifted a spade?
And she battered his head to a mush!


Prompt image for the Fandango One Word Challenge prompt

One Last Job (2)

I wrote the first part of this story yesterday, for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #117, where we write about the photo below. So, here is my second half:

Part One
Part Two

By midday the next morning, the team were finally into the bank. More than 12 hours after the escapade had begun, they were now 8 hours behind schedule. But there was one more wall to go before they reached the vault and the riches that lay on the other side. Thank goodness they had that extra day, thought Del.

Setting up the drill once again, there was no option but to sit it out, and by midnight they were finally inside the vault. In the corner stood a large, modern safe.

“Crikey”, said Albert.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, jeez, I ain’t seen nuffin like this before, Del. What did it say on the plan? A 2400? Well, look, this is a SafeAsHouses 6000. Jesus, boy, where’d you get those plans? Off a fucking market stall?”

Continue reading “One Last Job (2)”

One Last Job (1)

For Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #117, where we write about this photo from MilosCreativeArt at DeviantArt.

Before I start, here’s the thing. I had an idea for this, started writing, and when I was done I was at about 1,100 words. Give or take, that’s an 11 minute post, and way, way longer than I am happy to publish. So my plan is to post the first chunk today, to tease you all, then to publish the rest tomorrow.

Officially, they were retired. Moved lock, stock and two smoking barrels out to the Costa del Crime, to enjoy their ill-gotten gains in sunny opulence.

But greed had tempted them back. Del and Rodney, those unlikeliest of brothers – Del, short stocky, five foot nothing, and Rodney, a 6’5” beanpole, had agreed on one last job. And who could resist? A bank, bloated from a weekend’s takings? And a holiday weekend to boot – an extra day before the cash was scurried away to head office?

Continue reading “One Last Job (1)”

Unexpected

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of of 10 May 2021, fish.

A young man, who was nought but a nipper,
Got excited for seeing a stripper,
But expecting hot groover,
Found just paint remover,
As his mates stiched him up like a kipper.


Prompt image for the Fandango One Word Challenge prompt

Who Won the Week (9 May 2021)

In response to Fandango’s Who Won the Week post, I have been looking at my own newsfeeds.


In the UK, we had local elections this week. In every nation of the UK, the incumbents did well, which is unusual as elections go. The real effect of the COVID vaccine.

One area which raised an eyebrow was in Scotland, where the Scottish National Party did well. So they won my week. And I wish them well because they are a left wing party, which fits more closely to my own politics, although the fit isn’t exact.

As the name suggests, these people are indeed nationalists. Front and centre of their policies is to withdraw from the UK. To make the UK just the K, I suppose.

Continue reading “Who Won the Week (9 May 2021)”

Prophetic

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of of 9 May 2021, buoyant.

After new rules, the prophet set sail,
But they never predicted the gale,
Such a shame this clairvoyant,
Was not very buoyant,
As they ended up dead as a doornail.


Prompt image for the Fandango One Word Challenge prompt

Genius

for the Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge of 8 May 2021, spooky.

A new school attendee in Lahore,
Counted easily up to a score,
While it was indeed spooky,
To find such a sharp cookie,
He said, “Shall I go on? I know more.”