All That Glitters

One ancestor, so I was told,
Met a bear while prospecting for gold,
The grizzly thought “lunch”,
And attacked with a crunch,
Ensured ancestor never grew old.

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There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

A Whale of a Time

Another friend, big like balloon,
Went swimming and ended harpooned,
He writhed and was bloated,
But easily floated,
And we bury him this afternoon.

There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

How NOT to Win Friends

I haven’t yet mentioned my mate,
Who came to his end on a date,
He mentioned her tum,
And her oversized bum,
So she sat on him, caused him deflate!

There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

Paws for Thought

We once had a cat called Jess,
Who got herself into a mess,
After ten fields she’d crossed,
When she stopped, she was lost,
Which way was home, had to guess.

There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

Tender Morsels

A purveyor of canine cuisine,
My cousin got sucked in machine,
He was chopped up and ground,
Then deliciously browned,
And once cooked, turned the dog food bright green.

There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

Here Today…

While walking him out down the lane,
Our dog Fido was given free rein,
He spotted a mole,
Followed into a hole,
And we bever saw Fido again.

There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

A Chip off the Old Block

My ancestor, jester at court,
Said he knew how to cure the king’s wart,
King said “off with his head”,
And blood spurted out, red,
Leaving rest of the troupe one man short.

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There’s some more of this family nonsense here:

Lost his Cool

My father, a lovely old man,
Got caught up in his new ceiling fan,
He was dragged round and round,
And then thrown to the ground,
This was surely not part of his plan?

There’s some more of this family nonsense here: