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Yay, we now have a roadmap!
Boris starting to turn on the tap
Let’s all go back to work
No excuses to shirk
But the virus, it don’t give a crap.

Still four thousand new cases per day
virus just isn’t going away
Though the prospect ain’t sunny
We must start making money
And just hope we can keep it at bay.

To explain this a bit, I must use some prose, because I’m not sure I can do it in rhyme.

As of tomorrow, the UK Prime Minister wants many sectors here to return to work, provided a safe distance can be maintained. This is all fair enough, but what if a safe distance cannot be maintained? In this case, the Prime Minister has suggested that the employee should take matters up with the employer. So, what if the employee is not satisfied, but the employer won’t budge?

The obvious thing (to me) is that the employee just does not go back into work. Their life might be at stake, after all.

I am afraid that I think the government’s next step will be to say “now that everybody is back at work, there is no longer a need to provide financial support”. And so anybody who stays away from work will have the option of going back to work, or starving.

The consensus appears to be that the UK’s new rules, announced by Boris on Sunday, just do not make sense. Most of yesterday was spent “clarifying” them, and everything I have seen so far Tuesday just seems to be highlighting the holes.

More Topical Musings

Our government wrote their own app,
Designed it to build up a map
But concerns abound
Data flying around
People worried this app will entrap

Refused help from the two main providers*
Won’t use aid, not from any outsiders
Had to write it themself
Wouldn’t use off-the-shelf
On your own heads be it, you confiders

So I’m sitting here pretty bemused
Wondering why all this help was not used
Make it hard as they can
Seems their most favoured plan
Can’t help thinking their plans are confused

Have to wait five more years to remove
In the mean time the citizens lose
Doesn’t seem very bright
Not a care for our plight
Politicians just have to improve

* Apple and Google

Some more Limericks…

…but I can’t keep writing about fleas.

There once was a pig in a poke,
In fact he was quite a nice bloke [for a pig]
But did not see the fun
in the spots on his bum
And just did not follow the joke.

and on a more topical note:

There once was a man with no name*
Who said it will all be okay
But he hadn’t a clue
How to act, what to do
Human beings are all just fair game.

I’m not sure which side of the pond,
This idiot ran matters from,
For we’ve elected a pair
Who have heads full of air
And we’ll sigh with relief when they’re gone

I’m sorry I just wouldn’t care
If the pox entered into their lair
They hate with gusto
But they’ll reap what they sow
As they blunder us through this nightmare

* I bet you can name him! One of two, anyhow.