The Gift

It Was… This Big

Okay, I’m going to start with a spoiler alert – don’t read this if you’re in the middle of eating!

This is what Reuben brought in last night. It’s a bit difficult to get a sense of scale from the photo, but that was probably an 8″ body, plus maybe the same again for the tail! Yes, Reuben presented us with a fully-grown, adult rat! Fortunately, it was very, very dead!

He came in through the cat flap, and he’s carrying this thing by the scruff of the neck, like it was a kitten. I mean. they’re normally so small that you can’t really tell how he’s carrying them, but this one… very much by the scruff of the neck!

So what do you do? Tell him off? Actually it’s great if he starts decimating the local rat population, but… just make sure they’re absolutely dead before bringing them anywhere near us!

Then we have the slight problem of how to get rid of the body. Better not try flushing it…


Some of you will remember I talked a month ago about my daughter’s cat, Esme, staying with us.

We just had a call from my daughter that Esme was run over and killed instantly. She’d have only been about 3½.

My Favourite Girl

It is inevitable that these photosets come in pairs. But at least Lola was awake!

My Favourite Boy

He was waiting in the kitchen at 6:30 AM for his breakfast. After that, he crashed out on the bed.

It is now 11:30 AM. About a half-hour ago, he got up, had a look to see if there was any food in the kitchen (there isn’t, yet), then pawed at the door to go out. As usual, he sits in the doorway so I have to force him either in or out, before I can close the door again.

Ten min utes ago, he decided it was all too much and decided just to crash on the rug in the lounge. Jeez, and I thought had a hard life!

This is the same cat who kills and maims rodents for fun.


Daughter’s cat is still prone to being bad-tempered at times, although she is much improved from her original state of just being pissed all the time.

But while my wife was in the toilet, she was uppity again this morning, after she (cat) had wandered inon her (wife). With my best poetic hat on, I said:

Did she start hissing,
while you were pissing?

My wife was using the toilet just prior to driving over to see her mother. Not to be outdone, she replied:

I’d better get going,
Before it starts snowing.

It’s not gonna snow today, but, you know… license. And then, amazed at her own poetic ability, she added:

See? I can do it too,
But not as well as you.

The Lodger

My daughter (who has a cat) has a few problems at the moment. She just had a short spell in hospital, and as somebody who was once in care, it seems to have put her onto their radar. They have some obligation.

The upshot is that the council have agreed to clean her bedsit for her. There is some talk, I believe, of rehousing her permanently.

None of this is really surprising to my wife and I. When she lived here, cleanliness was always an issue. We would have to regularly tidy her room when she was young, and as she became older, it became more difficult to gain access without hysterics. When we cleaned, we would dispose of things like McDonald’s wrappers, which she did not throw away herself, even as a teen. We took to going into her bedroom when she was at school, hoping that she did not notice that we had cleaned things up, because if she did, there would be a fight when she got home. It’s only really with hindsight that I realise we had to be much more hands-on than other parents.

Daughter’s cleanliness has not improved, and now that she lives on her own, there is nothing to prevent this mess. With what has happened recently, in the short term, the council have agreed to clean her place. Their only condition – they want her cat out of the way while the clean happens.

So, for the next few weeks, we have a lodger. Daughter’s cat is staying with us.

Comparing her to any cat who ever lived with us, this cat is antisocial. But… wouldn’t you be?

She arrived five days ago, when she hissed at everything – us, the other cats. But I think she has gradually softened a bit. Yesterday, she allowed me to give her a brief fuss, although so far this morning she has been hissing again.

Yesterday, she also caught her first mouse (while staying here). Because we have the other cats, she is always able to come and go as she pleases. We worried about this at first, that she would not come back, but she at least recognises a steady supply of food and a warm comfy place to rest her head.

I have a feeling that, by the time she goes back home, we will be friends.

I Love ‘Em Really

We have two cats.

Despite us having a permanently-open window, plus a cat-flap, the boy comes into the lounge, where I am often working, and paws at the door for me to let him out. I invariably think, “he might be desparate for the toilet”, drop whatever I happen to be doing (which might often be working or writing) and let him out.

The girl likes to get in on the action. Rather than using the catflap, she will come into the porch, then sit and miaow for somebody to open the front door for her.

This morning, he wanted out. As soon as I opened the door for him, the wind blew the other door, to the kitchen, shut. Two seconds later, the other cat is howling at me, because she wants to get into the kitchen for some food.

Needless to say, I have no sympathy from my wife, who just says “well, if you’re stupid enough to get up in the first place…” It really is a dog’s cat’s life!

Anyway, totally unrelated:

The cat keeps me up on my toes,
I swear on my life that he knows
I’m just having a rest
He decides he will test
Please just leave me alone to compose.

I then open the door, let him out,
And the other door slams with a clout!
Then the other joins in,
Wants food from the kitchen,
How I love this impromptu workout

That’s a stock image by the way. Ours would never be so close.