Having brokered career in law, Let it go, I could see things were unfair, Let if go.
When the odds against were stacked, Let it go, I could see I had to act, Let it go.
Took away my liberty, Let it go, When you threw away the key, Let it go.
World expected to forget, Let it go, But I come back stronger, yet. Let it go.
For all those years, neglected, Let it go, Yet released and then elected, Let it go.
When I gained emancipation, Let it go, Became the Father of the Nation, Let it go.
The thing I liked most about Nelson Mandela was the “truth and reconciliation” aspect. That he could turn around and say “you have done all sorts of evil against me, yet I am willing to put that to one side, because I have a more critical priority of sorting out the mess you made”. I think it shows the sign of a great man, and indeed many, many people, South Africa of today, and other countries, cannot see further than the “revenge” ticket, cannot see the end game.
But to be honest I found this prompt quite difficult, because I tend to admire views, but get less hung up on people. Plus, I think we all come with flaws. My favourite politician, I thought similarly on many issues, but not on others, Musically, I was influenced a lot by Bob Marley. To me, he was sound on racial issues, but was he so sound on other inequality issues? Same goes for something like the suffragettes and their focus of gender issues.
Anyway, just to illustrate my point, I’ll include one of my favourite anti-apartheid songs. See? It’s the issue, not the person. Nelson was probably the most important individual person, but that we changed the society is a far bigger thing.
I thought I’d have another bash at KK’s Yard Sale of Thoughts Flashback Track Friday post. The idea is that she picks an old music track that she likes, and then uses that as the theme of something new, and this week she picked a Nina Simone song on the subject of empowerment..
So today, I just fancied a bit of fiction.
She was so afraid. What if Gary was the best she could do?
She looked around her, at the four walls. She had a roof over her head, at least. He did his share; she could not complain. Sure, it’s different when you move in with someone, you can’t have it all your own way. Maybe she just needed to give it a bit longer, and it would feel right?
Plus, there were the benefits of having a man. Of being a part of a couple. The world was designed for couples, she thought. Everybody did everything as a couple – restaurants, movies…
The shrill ring of her phone cut short her daydreaming. “Lisa? It’s Gary. Look, I’m afraid I’m going to be late home again. I had a call from Jason, he said he could put some business my way….” She zoned out. This was the third time this week, if she looked back over a month, she lost count. Twenty minutes, bookending each day, this was all she had with him now. Gary, it seemed, had settled into co-habiting simply fine, in fact his life had changed little since before Lisa had moved in. Still the active social life, but with the added bonus of somebody to warm the bed.
Ten minutes later, another ring, but this time from the convection oven. Supper. She plated her half and left the rest in its foil tray. He could eat that when he came home.
It was gone nine o’clock when Lisa finally heard Gary’s key fumble in the lock. He came in and crashed down on the other chair. Even from ten feet away, she could smell the drink. “Supper ready?” he asked. No, “nice to see you. How was your day?” “It’s in the oven, but it’s probably cold by now.” Gary got up and returned with the tray. Cold or not, Gary was in no mood for waiting.
“How was Jason? Did he have any business for you?” “Oh, Jason was fine. Look, do you mind if we don’t talk about it just now, doll? I’m dog-tired after the day I’ve just had.” In an instant, Lisa saw what the rest of her life would be like.
Thirty minutes later, Gary was snoring gently in the chair. Lisa shook him awake.
“Gary, can you wake up a minute. I think we need to talk.”
Incidentally, I once covered a Nina Simone track as part of a Song Lyric Sunday response. I liked the video especially, it got reworked by Nick Park, of Wallace and Grommit fame. What they do with stop-go just beggars belief.
I finished work early today, and I saw KK’s Yard Sale of Thoughts Flashback Track Friday post. The idea is that she picks an old track that she likes, and then uses that as the theme of something new. So, let’s make sure I got this. The song is old, the response is new. I hope so, anyhow. I guess the response can be anything, but I chose a limerick.
In what I’m sure is a nod to the proximity to Valentine’s Day, KK has chosen “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”, and puts a couple of decent renditions in her post, including the original. Funny, I never knew that Roberta Flack’s was a cover…
Anyway, with a few minutes to spare, I wrote about the first time I ever saw Mrs Bump’s face. As you can see, this was not exactly love at first sight. We were both way past the time of life where we might be infatuated (and I think that is probably a big reason that we have stayed together), we were both on a night out with work colleagues, and we were both pretty drunk. We did, at least, exchange phone numbers and I called her a few days later to ask her out on a proper date. The rest, as they say, is history.
First time I set eyes on her face, I was on night out from my workplace, She won’t mind if I share I was bit worse for wear, Had to sit on a stool just in case.
I’m not going to go far at all today. Listening to Jim’s post just put me straight back into the Eighties. I thought Sade was brilliant, I have Diamond Life somewhere, so when I heard Smooth Operator it just took me straight back there. I just love her chilled-out sound, and I feel guilty because I haven’t listened to her in many years. She was real sexy, sultry, seductive wine-bar music of the time.
So while I thought of a few other candidates which migt be suitable today, please indulge me by allowing me to reminisce with another song from that album.
“
Your love is king Crown you with my heart Your love is king Never need to part Your kisses ring Round and round and round my head Touching the very part of me It’s making my soul sing Tearing the very heart of me I’m crying out for more Your love is king Crown you with my heart Your love is king You’re the ruler of my heart Your kisses ring Round and round and round my head Touching the very part of me It’s making my soul sing I’m crying out for more Your love is king
I’m coming on I’m coming You’re making me dance Inside
Your love is king Crown you with my heart Your love is king Never need to part Your kisses ring Round and round and round my head Touching the very part of me It’s making my soul sing Tearing the very heart of me I’m crying out for more
Touching the very part of me It’s making my soul sing I’m crying out for more Your love is king
This is no Blind faith This is no Sad or sorry dream This is no Blind faith
Your love, your love is real (your love is king) Gotta crown me with your heart (your love is king) Never never need to part (your love is king) Touch me (your love is king) never letting go (your love is king) Your Love is King never letting go (your love is king) never gonna give it up (your love is king) I’m comming (your love is king) making me dance
written by Sade Adu, Stuart Matthewman, also a bandmember of Pride, he’s playing the sax
I’m still in touch with somebody who used to be my closest friend, although she’s French and I haven’t seen her for probably ten years.
She must be 5 years younger than me, but she got married quite young. I remember meeting her baby son for the first time when I was still in and out of relationships, and just off to work in the USA. I was far from settling down (my head, at least).
We sent Happy New Year exchanges three of four years ago. My jaw dropped, when we were talking about our goals for the next year, and she mentioned that one of the goals was a divorce!
Now, I’d probably met her husband around about the same time as she had. He had no English, and my French was never good enough to have real, in-depth, conversations, but we’d chit-chat and he seemed like a decent guy. It concerned me a little bit that some of our mutual friends observed that she was so much more intelligent than he was, but…not really any of my business.
The divorce went ahead, and I remember my friend saying sometime afterwards that it was really strange, because he had just cut off all contact with them. I could kind-of understand if they had just been a couple, but there were children involved. The “baby boy” would by then have been about 20, plus there was also a daughter, around 17.
I still think that’s a bit strange, but I can kind-of understand it. I can understand him going cold turkey on his ex-wife, especially if he didn’t want the divorce, and I guess he must have thought that, at that age, the children knew their own minds and that it was as much their responsibility as his, whether everybody stayed in touch. On the face of it, even that assumption doesn’t quite add up, but the relationship between me and my daughter is also pretty non-existent, so I can’t throw stones. The one thing I do know is that I didn’t know the full story – outsiders never do.
But it does raise the question of how you respond to that situation. I’m glad I was never in a situation where children are involved, but I guess we’ve all split up with someone, then had to ask ourself questions on the subject of “how much contact is safe?”
Over the years (this was not some bolt of lightning!) I concluded that cold turkey was my best option. There’s usually somebody who wants the relationship to end, and somebody who wants it to go on. So, there must always be that glimer, perhaps they’ll rethink?
So, cold turkey was less ambiguous. We both knew where we stood.
Now that decades have passed, I must admit to having googled a couple of old girlfriends. I even found one! Less significant flames, I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t remember their names.
The ones I could remember, it’s a weird one because you tell yourself that you should contact them just to say Hi and make sure they’re okay. But it was only ever half hearted – in much the same way as I sometimes googled my own name. But after that initial greeting, what do you say after that? What if they’re not okay?
There’s also the thing, it’s generally going to be different for women, that it’ll often be harder to find an ex-girlfriend than it is an ex-boyfriend, just because they probably got married at some point, and probably changed their name when they did.
And you kinda realise that you’re then just the creepy ex-boyfriend.
Let alone that when you split, they probably ended up hating your guts, and never wanted to speak to you again 🙂 (or was that just me?) Not to mention, it can’t do your current relationship much good!
So best, I think, to let sleeping dogs lie. What do you think?
And let’s just finish the post by admitting that none of my exes ever tried to contact me!
