Our house is in a bad way,
There’s things I must address,
They’re getting on my wife’s nerves
And causing her distress.
A draft blows through the window,
I’m feeling like a tramp,
The ceiling brims with mould
And the walls are full of damp.
I walk into the bathroom,
Tap greets me with a drip,
I’m feeling like a captain,
Upon a sinking ship.
I quite like that connection,
I’m staying with a boat,
For we sit upon the toilet,
And feel like we’re afloat.
The sealant round the bathtub,
It’s just a tad too small,,
I look at my wallpaper,
It’s falling off the wall.
I exit to the driveway,
I think I’ve seen it all,
But the garden tap is leaky,
Spraying water upon the wall.
I head back into my lounge,
I think I’m past the peak,
A dark patch on the ceiling,
I’ve found another leak.
I slump into the armchair,
My world is in a spin.
My house is underwater,
I think I’ll just give in.
Geeze. I fully understand but do hope there’s a good bit of imagination at work here. It does seem a homeowner’s constant battle to stay up on “chores” and fixups. I’m experiencing that now especially after the snowstorm damage and also thinking to sell here which means things must be “just so” for the market. That said, this was a rollicking good work. Well, done, Mr. Bump!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with SP, a very funny frolic through the domestic problems associated with the everyday upkeep of a home. Have a virtual pint on me, you’ve earned it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The snowball of house problems kept getting bigger! It feels good to fix a nagging problem, but then all the other nagging problems seem to become more evident after one is fixed. Ugh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve obviously been there! The list just keeps getting longer, doesn’t it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. Sigh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love your imagination, brilliant! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just look around me and it just comes. Eek!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t believe that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We have a list of, like 12 jobs, for a plumber, and the worst of it is that he will not be able to start any of them until May.
Seriously, I hate this about being disabled, because most of them I would’ve just got on with myself, but now I am relegated to the sidelines. You must have found this after husband dioed? There must have been various jobs that had always been his responsibility? And all of a sudden, they are yours? I feel quite overwhelmed, seeing this list and not really being able to do anything about it.
LikeLike
Oops, time to call in the cavalry! I mean the plumber 👨‍🔧
LikeLiked by 1 person
any port in a storm 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
đź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ť
LikeLiked by 1 person
On top of it all, Covid doesn’t really help! Have a nice day 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is quiet here now but we hear about you đź’š.
Here, I think the politicians decided “this will be the last confinement”, so they walk very carefully. My village has been suppressed since the last 3 weeks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here the situation is very confused. It seems like the plan is to vaccinate everybody by the beginning o summer. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
optimistic… politicians… sigh
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy to be a life boat just send out an S.O.S. Tackling little things one at a time, I find that’s the way…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Plumber cannot get here until May., Drowning!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What? On spring break, this plumber?
LikeLiked by 1 person
my theory is that everyone is spending far too much time at home, thinking of all the jobs they wantdoing.
LikeLike