Needs Attention

Our house is in a bad way,
There’s things I must address,
They’re getting on my wife’s nerves
And causing her distress.

A draft blows through the window,
I’m feeling like a tramp,
The ceiling brims with mould
And the walls are full of damp.

I walk into the bathroom,
Tap greets me with a drip,
I’m feeling like a captain,
Upon a sinking ship.

I quite like that connection,
I’m staying with a boat,
For we sit upon the toilet,
And feel like we’re afloat.

The sealant round the bathtub,
It’s just a tad too small,,
I look at my wallpaper,
It’s falling off the wall.

I exit to the driveway,
I think I’ve seen it all,
But the garden tap is leaky,
Spraying water upon the wall.

I head back into my lounge,
I think I’m past the peak,
A dark patch on the ceiling,
I’ve found another leak.

I slump into the armchair,
My world is in a spin.
My house is underwater,
I think I’ll just give in.

The Sting

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of 25 March 2021, nemesis.

My brother, triathlon trainee,
So he went for a swim in the sea,
He encountered his nemesis,
A man’o’war jellyfish,..

He was lucky I needed to pee