Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #99

For Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #99, where we write about this photo from Frantisek_Krejci at Pixabay.

You’re joking?

I shit you not. They buy the phone at $1000, comes with this gizmo, then they lose the bloody thing and come into my shop, looking for a replacement. And, most of them haven’t got a clue about electronics, so I just buy them, unbranded, off the market, put them in a new wrapper which says “iPhone compatible” on it, then sell them on.

And they cost you?

Oooh, I picked the last batch up at around 70c each.

And you sell them for?

$49.95. Plus $5 packing. But, you know, I got expenses on top. I have to get this funky packaging printed up…

Suckers.

The Reason for COVID

Our health agency provides quite granular data about confirmed COVID infections. The number they like to use is the number of cases in the last week.

When we had our first lockdown from March to roughly September, the highest that number got was to 9. That’s in an area roughly our village and the closest 2 or 3, about 8,000 people. Most of the time, the numbers were so low, they held them back.

They publish these numbers daily, a few days in arrears. Yesterday, the number of cases between 23rd – 29th December was 32 – that’s about a 3½-fold increase on a value that was the maximum for six months. And I fully expect that number to go even higher when they publish the next batch later today.

Now, I’m not a big user of Facebook, but yesterday evening I went on and published these numbers. I wanted to cause some introspection – am I mixing with people I don’t need to be?, am I going places I don’t need to go?

There was the usual proportion of dumb responses – that’s why I steer clear of Facebook these days.

Scattered in amongst the dumb ones were some really heart-breaking ones – I lost my partner of 26 years to this back in November, so people need to take it seriously. Or, my fit-and-healthy daughter had it, and is still recovering

Of all the responses, one in particular stood out:

Who made you the boss?

That’s why.

New Year’s Resolution

New Year’s Resulution – lose weight,
As I finished the last Atfer Eight,
I am feeling unfit,
And my trousers have split,
But please put some more fries on my plate.

The Apprentice

inspired by Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of 4 January 2021, remiss.

My first job, disaster befell,
When the foreman stopped me with a yell,
“You have been remiss”
And wish that, he dismissed,
And then out of the warehouse propelled.