Today’s Provocative Question is short and sweet. Fandango asks:
What do you fear the most?
I get anxious, really, about two things. My health and my wealth.
Many of you will have seen my posts since christmas. I had a scare with one of my eyes. It seems mostly to be okay but there are a few little giveaways – I can’t read the programme guide on the TV, even with my glasses, which I could do before. But I can use the computer – this is the key not only to my productivity, but to my link with the outside world.
So, I’m scared that my sight goes. Really, shitless. The trouble is, I know exactly what it is – glaucoma caused by diabetes – and there’s not much I can do to stop it, there is no cure, although taking good care of my sugar slows it down. But one day it will get me, if I don’t die of something else first. I had thought I was doing well on that one until last week.
The other thing I worry about is my bank balance. If I continue not to work, and just to receive benefits, then my overall wealth dwindles by about 10% each year. I keep telling myself that of course I will get a job – with the things I am doing now, and a top notch cb vehind me, but what if?????
It’s silly, really. I am one of that last generation who bought an endowment policy when I mortgaged my house. I don’t know what they called them elsewhere, but they must have existed. The mortgage is up in 4 years, and the current projection is that the endowment will only repay 50% of it. But that doesn’t really bother me, because in that time, the value of the house has risen fourfold! So I have plenty of equity. Plus, after 2008, there are plenty of people in my position, and after COVID, there are even more!
I suppose the thing that really worries me here is that this might be the end of my working life. It’s not the money – I’m very frugal these days – it’s more not being useful to anyone any more.
The other thing I wanted to mention was death. Nope. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy life, I’d miss (some) people and our animals, but since the stroke I figure I’m on borrowed time anyway. I fear the pain that is often associated with death, but not really death itself. My stroke had no pain associated with it, so if push came to shove I would take another one of them.