He had been her first love. They were going to be together forever so, when he had asked to take pornographic photos of her, why not? They were just a bit of fun to be shared privately with each other, so where was the harm?
Then, the row, the split. As if that had not been heart-breaking enough, her classmates now seemed to have her naked picture on their phones. Her embarrassment was just one huge joke to them. In the corridor, she heard sniggers from boys years younger than her, boys she did not even know.
Rushing home that evening, Rachel scurried straight up the stairs to her bedroom. She did not even seem to want to join the family for supper that night.
Rachel’s mum discovered her body the next morning.
I used the computer yesterday pretty normally. In particular I was able to write some code, which is the important thing.
Most of my magnifications are returned to what they were before my eyes felt suddenly worse. I don’t get a perfect picture, but then again, I never did.
I realised that with the magnifications returned to normal, there wasn’t really any way of looking at progress, so I dowbloaded an eye chart. It’s just an image, but I can look at it day after day, it will be the same size on my screen, so I can tell if I’m getting better or worse.
To give you an idea, if I look out of both eyes, I can see well enough to type this. The only thing I sometimes have a problem seeing is the cursor. With the bad eye only, I see white where there is “page”, and black where there is text. I see a vague block, but nothing more detailed.
The funny thing here is how these things play with your mind. All these what if? s. What if the bad eye doesn’t improve? What if the same thing happens in what is currently the good eye? If I had this in both eyes, there’s no way I could handle a computer, so that would be that. And it’s quite scary because that is how I’ll disappear from WordPress – I’ll go quiet but the regular post will continue to appear each week, because only just before Christmas I made sure I had 6 months of these photos queued up.
Overthinking. What will be will be.
On the plus side, everything felt easier in late afternoon the other day, and again yesterday, so I will look again today – armed with my eye chart – and see if this “feeling” correlates to actual improvement.