The Man in the Paper Mask

For today’s Provocative Question, Fandango asks:

Do you blog anonymously? Why or why not?

I should start by saying, “yes, my name is Mister Bump”, and wouldn’t that be an entertaining post? No, if you hadn’t guessed, I blog anonymously, for specific reasons. I quite frequently trot these out so I should be able to be quick.

First of all, anonymous means name, address, and DoB. Things that would lead somebody to me. I think it’s useful to give out some context, so I have mentioned all of these, but pretty vaguely.

So, reasons for blogging anonymously are:

  • to protect my identity. I’m not comfortable with somebody turning up on my doorstep. “That’d be too creepy”, you say? I bet anybody who ever got stalked thought that, too.
  • to protect my family. Same thing, only more. Anybody who worked me out could work out who my family were. Creepy? See (1).
  • I thought, when I started the blog, that it would put certain subjects off the table. I wouldn’t want my wife reading about my morning exploits with the neighbour, say. As it happens, the neighbour prefers the post lady instead!

Seriously, when I started, I thought there might be personal things I might talk about on the blog, and be uncomfortable with my friends/family finding out. That hasn’t happened. Sadly, I am an open book. I talked about the shit with my daughter once, but that has been said to her face, anyway. No secrets. I self-censor.

  • The last thing, not personal, but releasing your identity is like getting a tattoo – once it’s out there, it’s out there for ever. There’s no going back. With anonymity, at least you have the flexibility to change your mind later.

Longer than I’d hoped.

Seconds Out…

I was chatting to one of my Age UK clients yesterday. Her husband had just been banished to the bedroom, to watch the afternoon’s horse racing, which she detested. I asked her whether/what sports she liked and – bearing in mind that this is a little old lady in her mid-Seventies – I was surprised when she said that she loves wrestling. You know, all that WWE nonsense we get on TV.

Anyway, it gave me an idea so I headed off to Wikipedia. Little did I know I would find a gazillion different names of holds!

The Shoulder Claw, the Forearm Smash,
Grown men sent flying with a crash.
The Hammerlock, the Chicken Fling,
Some guy sent flying from the ring.
The Lotus Lock, the Boston Crab,
Call that man a taxicab!
The Rocking Chair, the Ankle Lock,
If you come close, you’ll get a shock.
The Sleeper Hole, the Double Choke,
I’d better not annoy this bloke,
The Cobra Clutch, the Butterfly,
Would somebody please simplify?

If all these names leave you befuddled,
Do not despair, I’m just as muddled!

Fandango’s One Word Challenge (21 October 2020)

L’élève a été élevé.

for Fandango’s One Word Challenge(FOWC), accentuate.