Fandango’s Provocative Question (5 August 2020)

Wednesday. Fandango’s Provocative Question once again. I did my charity calls this morning, and it is a nice feeling to know that the rest of my week is my own. /i mean, the calls are enjoyable (I am a volunteer after all) but I still breathe a sigh of relief when they are done, and I’m not beholden to anybody else this week. I try to do worky things, although because of all the calls, I usually write Tuesdays and Wednesdays off anyhow.

So, I looked in my reader and what should I see but Fandango’s Provocative Question, which this week is:

Do you believe that racism is an inherent human trait or is it learned?
Either way, are there actions that society can take to eliminate, or at least diminish, racism?
Or will racism always exist no matter what we do?

Hmmmm… racism… a minefield. They don’t come much tougher than this. Let’s briefly talk around this subject for a minute and we will hopefully tease out the answers to some of these questions.

In fact, I posted on here a month or so ago about a trailer I had seen on tv, basically a school was trying some social experimentation. In a mixed class of what looked like pre-10yos, they split the White kids from the non-White kids, and asked the question about what it meant to be black/white.

The White kids basically came up with an empty list. The Black kids came up with a list as long as your arm.

I mean, this said two things to me. Firstly that the difference was that White kids were able to take things for granted, a point which I made in my post. The other thing was that White kids did not appreciate the prejudice faced by the others.

Okay, a schoolyard example, but it is leading me strongly towards a conclusion that society is racist in all kinds of ways, that I (a White guy) cannot even hope to imagine. I see the same – discrimination against disabled people – because in that respect, I too am in a minority. Society pats itself on the back, when really it has done a terrible job.

Now, to clarify, I don’t think I am consciously racist. I hope not, anyway. But I have enjoyed quite a privileged life – healthcare, education, and so on, just by virtue of being British. So, like it or not, I have benefitted from things like colonialism and slavery, things which taught that the White man was superior. But I repeat, I don’t think I, or many individuals here, are consciously racist.

This is why I believe strongly in International Aid, by the way. It’s not my responsibility to give money to charities to help people’s plight, but I think it is the responsibility of our government to recognise that our country became so rich by making other countries so poor. Rich/poor, but founded on racism.

So, there is one way that “society” can help. By reducing inequality.

To talk about an “inherent human trait”, I believe it is someting that is ingrained in us. Not racism, per se, but just that belief that we are superior to somebody else (for whatever reason). That a Jehovah’s Witness, who will even call round to your house to tell you that their faith is better than yours. I’ve met religious people who have very patronisingly said that they would pray for me and my atheist views – again, the notion that their faith is superior to mine. So yes, I think we are inclined to think better rather than equal. I think we need to get some life experience under our belts in order to learn tolerance, and some of us never learn it.

I’m kind-of aware that this isn’t a brilliant answer, but hopefully there are a couple of thought-provoking points in here. I’m also conscious that I don’t want this post to turn into War and Peace, so I’ll stop now. Hopefully you got something from my ramble.

Serially Single

I was chatting with Jennifer over at Paperkutzs and we got onto the subject of failed first dates. It kinda sparked an interesting conversation about “wouldn’t it be a good idea to share some first-date nightmares?”

I must admit, I don’t have any mega-nightmares, and I think many of my relationships went quite some way past that first date – it normally took them a few months to decide how bad I was 🤣. But looking back, I became quite “planned” about first dates. In my middle twenties, I was doing quite well for myself. I mean, I never really saw myself as “a catch”, I used to see all the imperfections, it was only later that I figured out that we all have our imperfections, even supermodels.

The point was that I had some spare cash, so didn’t have any problem spending some every now and again.

In my mercenary approach, I always used to like to fix a first date in a fancy restaurant. Most of these dates turned out to be lousy – I always valued what was between somebody’s ears as opposed to how they looked – so I just used to figure “at least I’ll get a good meal out of it”.

I grew up with the overriding feeling that I would sooner be single, than in a relationship I didn’t really want to be in, and I think I always kept true to that. I kind of got used to even travelling on my own (I holidayed in Luxembourg, France and Switzerland on my own), although the world is mainly made for couples.

God knows how I ended up with my wife, but then she would probably say the same! In her defence, I did (do) at least want to be with her, at least mostly!


Paul was not at all sure about going to Anna’s sister’s wedding. Primarily, he had to go to support Anna, but he had private doubts about meeting all her family in one fell swoop. However, he had been seeing Anna, off and on, for almost six months, and her family certainly knew of him, despite nobody ever having met. It was high time.

Anna had gone on ahead, and rather than just going home after work on the Friday evening, Paul had tubed into central London, to catch the train from Victoria down to Lewes. To ease him in gently, Anna had met him on arrival, and had fed him at Pizza Express before taking him home to meet her mother and father. Also present were Anna’s rather dippy sister, and her even dippier fiancé, who was permitted to visit the house that evening purely so he could finally meet the mysterious Paul. At first glance, this couple seemed made for each other.

At the ceremony the next day, Paul stood in his morning suit, with Anna just a few yards away, looking resplendent in her bridesmaid’s dress. He closed his eyes, smiled to himself, and wondered “how did I get into this escapade?”.

for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) of 5th August 2020, escapade.

I’ve written a background to these characters, in the posts below.