I’ve been trying to keep myself busy (man’s work) and I didn’t think I was going to have time to answer Melanie’s Share Your World questions this week.
But you guys have really upset me. I’ve seen some really disappointing answers this week, so I thought I’d have to make the effort to redress the balance, even if I just answered one of the questions.
Your penalty for upsetting me? I want you to go outside, take all your clothes off, and then you need to stand there until a squirrel comes along and nibbles on your acorns.
Why am I upset? Well, I saw this question and you all got the answer so, so wrong:
Would You Rather Be Trapped In An Elevator Full Of Men With BO Or Three Soaked Dogs?
Look, Ladies, it is high time you realised – BO is the Essence de la vie (literally – if you set fire to it, it will explode). That mix of stale sweat and testosterone – what could be better than being in an elevator with ten, nay, fifty , other men? You might think that we smell, but we do it all for you. You might think that our jobs keep us out unreasonable hours – but it is all for you. Our breath might smell of booze when we finally get home, but it is all for you, to make ourselves more interesting for you.
We go hunting, trap bears in nets, we shoot fish, all for you. We boldly go, where no man has gone before, all for you.
Give me some men, any day of the week. The sweatier, the drippier, the better.
Let’s throw those mutts down the shaft!
 I assume you’re ladies, even though your name might be Harold
 most definitely not bottled and sold here as Links Deodorant
 subject to elevator safe loading limits