Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Music Challenge (10 July 2020)

for today’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Music prompt.

I’m still in touch with somebody who used to be my closest friend, although she’s French and I haven’t seen her for probably ten years.

She must be 5 years younger than me, but she got married quite young. I remember meeting her baby son for the first time when I was still in and out of relationships, and just off to work in the USA. I was far from settling down (my head, at least).

We sent Happy New Year exchanges three of four years ago. My jaw dropped, when we were talking about our goals for the next year, and she mentioned that one of the goals was a divorce!

Now, I’d probably met her husband around about the same time as she had. He had no English, and my French was never good enough to have real, in-depth, conversations, but we’d chit-chat and he seemed like a decent guy. It concerned me a little bit that some of our mutual friends observed that she was so much more intelligent than he was, but…not really any of my business.

The divorce went ahead, and I remember my friend saying sometime afterwards that it was really strange, because he had just cut off all contact with them. I could kind-of understand if they had just been a couple, but there were children involved. The “baby boy” would by then have been about 20, plus there was also a daughter, around 17.

I still think that’s a bit strange, but I can kind-of understand it. I can understand him going cold turkey on his ex-wife, especially if he didn’t want the divorce, and I guess he must have thought that, at that age, the children knew their own minds and that it was as much their responsibility as his, whether everybody stayed in touch. On the face of it, even that assumption doesn’t quite add up, but the relationship between me and my daughter is also pretty non-existent, so I can’t throw stones. The one thing I do know is that I didn’t know the full story – outsiders never do.

But it does raise the question of how you respond to that situation. I’m glad I was never in a situation where children are involved, but I guess we’ve all split up with someone, then had to ask ourself questions on the subject of “how much contact is safe?”

Over the years (this was not some bolt of lightning!) I concluded that cold turkey was my best option. There’s usually somebody who wants the relationship to end, and somebody who wants it to go on. So, there must always be that glimer, perhaps they’ll rethink?

So, cold turkey was less ambiguous. We both knew where we stood.

Now that decades have passed, I must admit to having googled a couple of old girlfriends. I even found one! Less significant flames, I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t remember their names.

The ones I could remember, it’s a weird one because you tell yourself that you should contact them just to say Hi and make sure they’re okay. But it was only ever half hearted – in much the same way as I sometimes googled my own name. But after that initial greeting, what do you say after that? What if they’re not okay?

There’s also the thing, it’s generally going to be different for women, that it’ll often be harder to find an ex-girlfriend than it is an ex-boyfriend, just because they probably got married at some point, and probably changed their name when they did.

And you kinda realise that you’re then just the creepy ex-boyfriend.

Let alone that when you split, they probably ended up hating your guts, and never wanted to speak to you again 🙂 (or was that just me?) Not to mention, it can’t do your current relationship much good!

So best, I think, to let sleeping dogs lie. What do you think?

And let’s just finish the post by admitting that none of my exes ever tried to contact me!

Downton Abbey (Fandango’s Friday Flashback)

Yay, it is Friday again, and Fandango has just published his Friday Flashback post. The idea is that he picks a post from this day in a previous year, to give newer readers a better insight into what does and doesn’t make him tick.

I have always liked that idea, so shall also post my own reminiscence. As much as anything, it reminds me of where I was, where I am now, and how far I have come. Hopefully, you will find it entertaining along the way.

Only had to go back a year for today’s Flashback.

I’d got back into the habit of working again. I have to have the tv off while I’m doing this, but tended to knock off around 5PM, and I found this programme re-airing on one of the nostalgia channels.

In the end, I watched the lot, although it took a month or two. My final verdict? Meh… It was better than a lot of tv, but could have been better still. Some of it I found pretty unbelievable, some sub-plots had been added for no particular reason other than to spin the story out.

I enjoyed thinking about it, though – seeing people who was every bit as trapped by their riches as other people were by their poverty.

Mister Bump

I don’t particularly follow the crowd. My tastes are pretty unique. It’s not something that bothers me, especially now. Becoming comfortable in your skin is just ageing.

Take television. For example, a very popular show in the UK is The Apprentice. I find this pretty offensive – the notion that financial gain is the be-all-and-end-all. So, I buck the trend. Another example, I can’t be bothered with your typical Saturday night fodder, so a lot of programmes I’ve simply never seen. These shows are just low-budget, low-quality tv.

The other day I watched a re-run of the first few episodes of Downton Abbey. I think this aired for the first time between 2010-2015. Ish. But they missed me completely. I suppose, at that time, I was finishup up in London, up in Liverpool, then trying to get the bike mechanic venture off the ground. So I was pretty busy. Not…

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