Fandango’s Provocative Question (24 June 2020)

Wednesday. Fandango’s Provocative Question once again. I’ve just had a busy morning and am having a late lunch, so I’ll try and get a few words down now, and just knock it into publishable shape tonight. This week, Fandango asks:

Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, tell us about it to the extent you feel comfortable doing so. If not, is there a crime you might like to commit (i.e., fantasized about committing) if you knew in advance that you’d never be caught or prosecuted for it?

Now you mention it, something like this did come up, but not the other day. This was five or six weeks ago, and was more along the lines of what we considered to be a crime. I don’t remember who posed it, except that it was a prompt on WordPress.

My definition of “crime” is something that goes against my morals. Easy. Specifically, if something happens to be a crime in the statute books, I couldn’t care less. The only thing I judge things on is my own standards.

According to that definition, I don’t think I have committed a crime.

But Fandango supplies a definition of crime which is different to mine. He says that crime is: an action or omission that constitutes an offense that may be prosecuted by the state and is punishable by law. It’s can also be an action or activity that, although not illegal, is considered to be evil, shameful, or wrong.

Compare that definition to mine, and half of his definition, I don’t care a jot. Going on Fandango’s definition, I have probably committed many crimes (the most recent of which was probably less than an hour ago). And no, I’m not going to tell you about it.

The second part of Fandango’s question is more interesting.

The short answer is that yes, I would certainly entertain the idea of doing so, although I’m not sure I’d have the balls (or the means) to actually go through with it.

The not get caught bit is irrelevant. The circumstance would be my terminal illness. Rather than just fizzle out quietly, I would love to buy a gun, and take some evil motherf*cker out with me. Some politician who had consistently voted to allow other people to suffer, for example? Somebody who had maybe wanted to wage war on other people? Maybe some neo-nazi? But you know, the notion of doing the world one last favour before I went, by removing them from it.

The trouble with that notion is that my definition of nasty will not be the same as the next guy’s. So I wouldn’t be making an objective decision – there’s no guarantee that my judgement is any better than their’s. In any case, a lot of people are probably better staying alive, just because every word they utter, they do more to harm their cause than I ever could.

I read the other week about the 75yo “activist” somewhere in upstate New York – and I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss that idea out of hand – I can imagine that lots of people are pretty angry about stuff by that time!


  1. Great answer! A crime that is punishable by law… well, you need to know the law first and I don’t think a lot of people are aware what is ok and what not because they tend to see their own actions as not as bad as if someone else would commit them. Example: crossing the street when the light is red. I’ve done that. I’ve been drunk driving on my bike. I took a scarf from a cafe because I thought it was mine, the next day -seeing my mistake – I didn’t took it back because I was too lazy and so on.
    While putting my garbage out way too early in the day, I actually met the man who cleans my street and now we say ‘hi’.
    We don’t always know what is good and what is bad. We have a moral compass but that can be under pressure too.
    I guess the 10 commandments weren'(t that bad after all!
    Ps did you know that not wearing underwear on the street is punishable by law in Thailand? Every country has funny (mostly very old) laws.


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